This week was supposed to be a happy one, since Haze is back in Singapore and we can all be reunited again~ But today was just one bad news after the other. First my results, then something I've been looking forward to since last year and have been excited about it for months to come just... didn't turn out as expected. And the worst thing is, it's all my fault.

I told my friends that I've stopped crying, but that was a lie. And I don't lie to my dearest friends. My keyboard's getting wet as I typed this... I feel really stupid, childish and disgusted at myself for crying over something that doesn't even hold a candle to people who are really suffering out there. Shang says it's alright and reasonable for me to feel disappointed since it's something we all looked forward to but...I just feel it's dumb of me to cry over it. And when I first heard the bad news in the train station, I even cried in the train, dammit. I had to face out of the train door, away from the public, so they won't see my tears. Stupid, foolish girl.

I'm not angry at anyone. I don't blame anyone. I'm just so devastatingly disappointed. I don't know what to do next, I feel stupid for wallowing in my self-pity, and I feel selfish too, for even thinking of wanting to stay locked in my room for the rest of the weekend. It's so stupid of me to cry. But they just keep coming.

Get over it Sarah, it's just a measly wrong colour, so what if it's not the one you wanted? No miracle can salvage it. Disappointments happen all the time.

♥ 8:10 pm