I seriously need to blog about happy things, dammit D: And so I will.

Today, a miracle happened.

Remember how I lamenting over my sucky GP block test essay? And I was despairing and feeling anxious and hopeless and all that? Well, it was all for naught. Even with an incomplete essay with 2-and-a-half paragraphs, I still passed with a 27/50. And my classmate with a complete essay got the same score as me. THIS PROVES IT, QUALITY DOES TOP QUANTITY, HUNNY. And my Paper 2 (compre) was like, woah, better than expected! An amazingly freaking 40.5/50 @A@ I swear I found that paper kinda tricky, but turns out many of my answers were right after all! 8D

I topped my class in GP with a total of 67.5/100. And with a dinged essay. I don't even what to THINK of what I could've gotten with a complete essay. xDv

*****

Haze, Haz & Shang: Last Saturday was one of the best days EVER. I can finally shed my you-know-what just as you three have! ;DDDD /huggles

♥ 9:29 pm

Stop crying! Or your eyes will be all puffy tomorrow and they'll worry.

♥ 9:03 pm

This week was supposed to be a happy one, since Haze is back in Singapore and we can all be reunited again~ But today was just one bad news after the other. First my results, then something I've been looking forward to since last year and have been excited about it for months to come just... didn't turn out as expected. And the worst thing is, it's all my fault.

I told my friends that I've stopped crying, but that was a lie. And I don't lie to my dearest friends. My keyboard's getting wet as I typed this... I feel really stupid, childish and disgusted at myself for crying over something that doesn't even hold a candle to people who are really suffering out there. Shang says it's alright and reasonable for me to feel disappointed since it's something we all looked forward to but...I just feel it's dumb of me to cry over it. And when I first heard the bad news in the train station, I even cried in the train, dammit. I had to face out of the train door, away from the public, so they won't see my tears. Stupid, foolish girl.

I'm not angry at anyone. I don't blame anyone. I'm just so devastatingly disappointed. I don't know what to do next, I feel stupid for wallowing in my self-pity, and I feel selfish too, for even thinking of wanting to stay locked in my room for the rest of the weekend. It's so stupid of me to cry. But they just keep coming.

Get over it Sarah, it's just a measly wrong colour, so what if it's not the one you wanted? No miracle can salvage it. Disappointments happen all the time.

♥ 8:10 pm

I will end my JC1 Block Tests with a bang, mainly because the last paper will be my favourite subject (Math).

Frankly, it's not going so well. Bio and Chem were utterly pulverised, but there's a glimmer of hope for Econs. Wish I could say something good about GP, but that'll be a lie.

For the first time in about two months, I was really feeling melancholic. I was tired, and I quote, of "being the wallpaper". I'm always unlucky such that I'm often smitten by those whom I can't seem to connect with beyond the friendly conversations and courteous things I do for them. I'm just there for them, eager to please, but like every other human, I want to be truly appreciated, my affections to be return, and to be seen as more than just pleasant company. And there's always someone else who just seems so much destined to be their right companion, even if they don't view that person romantically. True, above all things I believe in Love; I believe it exists, I believe it can last, and I believe everyone deserves it, just that I don't really believe as passionately that it's in my future. I was moping about it to Haz last night, and well, perhaps the lack of sleep made me get over-emotional. I guess I got over my melancholy after lamenting about it to her, since I had to remind myself that my personal belief is that Love is giving without expecting or demanding anything in return. For their happiness, even if it doesn't include you in it~

Speaking of Haz, that girl is on her way of becoming Beautiful like Haze. It's so nice to see your dearest friends blooming into the flowers you just know they'll grow to be. True, Haz has lost something so vital to the human soul, but she has gained something too: the mindset to help others for their own benefit, because there is Good to be done, and everyone can become a Good person.

Anyway, I'm pretty disappointed (yes, you may shoot me, fellow classmates) that my school jogathon this Friday is cancelled. I was so looking forward to trying to finish as one of the top 20 girls, so I could win myself a prize. ;D It's a whole-school event, and everyone who's medically fit runs. Awesome, yeah? x3

Saving the best for last: HAZE IS COMING! HAZE IS COMING! HAZE IS COMIIIIING! :DDDD I can't wait till the time comes when I can wrap my arms around her and talk, laugh with her for once NOT over an MSN window. Haha.

******

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” - Jane Austen

♥ 4:52 pm