It's such an amazing & wonderful feeling to love someone, be it romantically or platonically. You feel as though you don't need anything else, just the ones you love. They complete you.

I love so many people who are my friends. I love my sister. I love some of my cousins, my grandmothers, and my aunts. But God punish me for saying that I find it difficult to love my parents. At the most, I respect them and am mostly fond of them, but I would be lying if I said that I love them. I'm sorry that my filial piety does not extend that far.

Back to my topic of love. When it comes to familial love, the person I love most is my sister, without a doubt. When it comes to platonic love outside my family, the people I adore most with every fibre of my being are Yu Shang, Hazel, and Hazrina. (Of course, to my other close friends, I love you too, don't worry ^^) However, there are times when I ask myself if my love is enough. My love can't help Haz and Shang with their problems; does their knowledge of my love even comfort them when my words can't? And I can't help but wonder whether my love is enough to tie Haze with us when I feel like she's so far away, and I don't mean the physical distance.

And then there's the romantic love. Okay, I confess that I enjoy the light-headedness, the occasional flutter in my tummy, the fuzzy feeling I get inside as though I'm eating chocolate; the symptoms of having romantic feelings for someone. But it drives me NUTS too. Being romantically in love is one of the most mind-boggling experiences I've ever had. I feel like I want to spend as many moments with that person, to hold conversations and laugh together, but at the same time, I want to avoid that person for fear of being seen as dull & uninteresting and being compared to another.

Another thing on love. It really saddens me when love dies. Even if Person X has hurt me a lot and I instantly stopped loving that person after the betrayal, I still grieved. I sometimes wish I could be like those I know who can detach themselves from the pain that arises from loving others; to be indifferent. But woe on my sensitive and feeble self, I am vulnerable when I love. When I love someone who is really very close to me, that love takes root in my heart. When I stop loving that person, it's like wrenching a flower from the ground; it hurts, dammit. So then, now that I think about it... how can I bear to be indifferent? To brace myself for the pain that follows, so that when it comes, I get over it quickly and not be affected? That's just not how the way I love works. I like to think that my love is true. When I feel hurt by the people I love, it means that they're worth something for me to actually get upset over them.

....This is really getting melodramatic. I'm going to watch Moulin Rouge for comfort. And possibly eat some Cadbury. (Yes, I am aware it's this late at night.)

♥ 12:38 am