I am a selfish, selfish child.

My selfishness stems from my insecurity, and in turn breeds oversensitivity, paranoia and envy. Recent events have made me self-reflect even more than I usually do. I am only human after all; I am no saint, I am prone to sin and harbour nasty, wicked thoughts and feelings, and in doing so, I only inflict upon myself even more emotional turmoil.

God, I can be such a masochist.

~~~~~

Here's a little story I thought up.

Elizaveta has a fickle heart. When she loves someone, she pours out her adoration, which "overflows" from the basin of her heart. And yet, her affections shift to another as easily as the wind blows over. At present, Elizaveta is deeply smitten by Feliks, whom she tries to be as close to as possible. Her progress is hindered by her lack of self-worth and her guilt over her apparent envy towards her dear friend, Ivana. Yes, Elizaveta gets envious very easily, for Ivana gets along very well with Feliks, something Elizaveta feels she does not and will never match with the current state of meekness she can't help but display around Feliks, even with all the physical affections she showers. Her envy towards Ivana wrecks her with guilt, and her adoration for Feliks drives her to the brink of obsession....

♥ 12:55 am