I am a selfish, selfish child.

My selfishness stems from my insecurity, and in turn breeds oversensitivity, paranoia and envy. Recent events have made me self-reflect even more than I usually do. I am only human after all; I am no saint, I am prone to sin and harbour nasty, wicked thoughts and feelings, and in doing so, I only inflict upon myself even more emotional turmoil.

God, I can be such a masochist.

~~~~~

Here's a little story I thought up.

Elizaveta has a fickle heart. When she loves someone, she pours out her adoration, which "overflows" from the basin of her heart. And yet, her affections shift to another as easily as the wind blows over. At present, Elizaveta is deeply smitten by Feliks, whom she tries to be as close to as possible. Her progress is hindered by her lack of self-worth and her guilt over her apparent envy towards her dear friend, Ivana. Yes, Elizaveta gets envious very easily, for Ivana gets along very well with Feliks, something Elizaveta feels she does not and will never match with the current state of meekness she can't help but display around Feliks, even with all the physical affections she showers. Her envy towards Ivana wrecks her with guilt, and her adoration for Feliks drives her to the brink of obsession....

♥ 12:55 am

Can you believe it? Melvyn motivated me to blog. ;D

My, how time flies. April is nearly ending, which means that a third of the year is nearly gone. And even though it's been a few months already, I bloody miss all my BP friends. ;A;

Speaking of which, HAZE IS BACK FROM AUSSIE!!!! 8DDDD She's still the same, sweet, amusing, albeit naive, Hazel from my awesome BP days. When I first saw her after so long, Igave her a HUGE bear hug, to make up for the days she wasn't here with us. XD It's great to reunite with a dear friend~ So, in honour of darling Haze, I am organizing an ice skating outing for her (with other people invited of course) this Saturday. ((:

JC has made me rather melancholic these days. Even more than my less-than-happy primary school days. I don't know how I can go on if not for Shang's daily smses which crack cheer me up no matter how down I am that day, and regular night phone conversations with Haz. Those two are my antidepressants, I tell you. Oh, and shopping too. I was feeling a bit empty last Sat but instantly cheered up when Dad brought us to the John Little sale, where I bought an adorable new dress. XD

What can I say? It's retail therapy.

Would've liked this RARE post to be longer but what the heck. I've become lazy again. 8D Till next time! (But who knows when it'll be? :p)

Oh, and best wishes to Haz (and Janice & everyone else) on her new poly life! *envies*

♥ 5:43 pm