♥♪♫

2009-07-15T21:29:00.002+08:00

I seriously need to blog about happy things, dammit D: And so I will.

Today, a miracle happened.

Remember how I lamenting over my sucky GP block test essay? And I was despairing and feeling anxious and hopeless and all that? Well, it was all for naught. Even with an incomplete essay with 2-and-a-half paragraphs, I still passed with a 27/50. And my classmate with a complete essay got the same score as me. THIS PROVES IT, QUALITY DOES TOP QUANTITY, HUNNY. And my Paper 2 (compre) was like, woah, better than expected! An amazingly freaking 40.5/50 @A@ I swear I found that paper kinda tricky, but turns out many of my answers were right after all! 8D

I topped my class in GP with a total of 67.5/100. And with a dinged essay. I don't even what to THINK of what I could've gotten with a complete essay. xDv

*****

Haze, Haz & Shang: Last Saturday was one of the best days EVER. I can finally shed my you-know-what just as you three have! ;DDDD /huggles

2009-07-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

Stop crying! Or your eyes will be all puffy tomorrow and they'll worry.

2009-07-10T20:10:00.005+08:00

This week was supposed to be a happy one, since Haze is back in Singapore and we can all be reunited again~ But today was just one bad news after the other. First my results, then something I've been looking forward to since last year and have been excited about it for months to come just... didn't turn out as expected. And the worst thing is, it's all my fault.

I told my friends that I've stopped crying, but that was a lie. And I don't lie to my dearest friends. My keyboard's getting wet as I typed this... I feel really stupid, childish and disgusted at myself for crying over something that doesn't even hold a candle to people who are really suffering out there. Shang says it's alright and reasonable for me to feel disappointed since it's something we all looked forward to but...I just feel it's dumb of me to cry over it. And when I first heard the bad news in the train station, I even cried in the train, dammit. I had to face out of the train door, away from the public, so they won't see my tears. Stupid, foolish girl.

I'm not angry at anyone. I don't blame anyone. I'm just so devastatingly disappointed. I don't know what to do next, I feel stupid for wallowing in my self-pity, and I feel selfish too, for even thinking of wanting to stay locked in my room for the rest of the weekend. It's so stupid of me to cry. But they just keep coming.

Get over it Sarah, it's just a measly wrong colour, so what if it's not the one you wanted? No miracle can salvage it. Disappointments happen all the time.

2009-07-01T16:52:00.007+08:00

I will end my JC1 Block Tests with a bang, mainly because the last paper will be my favourite subject (Math).

Frankly, it's not going so well. Bio and Chem were utterly pulverised, but there's a glimmer of hope for Econs. Wish I could say something good about GP, but that'll be a lie.

For the first time in about two months, I was really feeling melancholic. I was tired, and I quote, of "being the wallpaper". I'm always unlucky such that I'm often smitten by those whom I can't seem to connect with beyond the friendly conversations and courteous things I do for them. I'm just there for them, eager to please, but like every other human, I want to be truly appreciated, my affections to be return, and to be seen as more than just pleasant company. And there's always someone else who just seems so much destined to be their right companion, even if they don't view that person romantically. True, above all things I believe in Love; I believe it exists, I believe it can last, and I believe everyone deserves it, just that I don't really believe as passionately that it's in my future. I was moping about it to Haz last night, and well, perhaps the lack of sleep made me get over-emotional. I guess I got over my melancholy after lamenting about it to her, since I had to remind myself that my personal belief is that Love is giving without expecting or demanding anything in return. For their happiness, even if it doesn't include you in it~

Speaking of Haz, that girl is on her way of becoming Beautiful like Haze. It's so nice to see your dearest friends blooming into the flowers you just know they'll grow to be. True, Haz has lost something so vital to the human soul, but she has gained something too: the mindset to help others for their own benefit, because there is Good to be done, and everyone can become a Good person.

Anyway, I'm pretty disappointed (yes, you may shoot me, fellow classmates) that my school jogathon this Friday is cancelled. I was so looking forward to trying to finish as one of the top 20 girls, so I could win myself a prize. ;D It's a whole-school event, and everyone who's medically fit runs. Awesome, yeah? x3

Saving the best for last: HAZE IS COMING! HAZE IS COMING! HAZE IS COMIIIIING! :DDDD I can't wait till the time comes when I can wrap my arms around her and talk, laugh with her for once NOT over an MSN window. Haha.

******

“Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” - Jane Austen

2009-06-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return."

- Christian, Moulin Rouge

I'm feeling rather philosophical now after having a talk with someone whom I just can't help but worry about day and night. Hey, if I don't worry about her, who will?

That person's been through a messy breakup and it hurt her emotionally; I would know. The pain comes from having your feelings ripped out by its roots from your heart, and you just want to cry and weep and sob all day if you could. She says she doesn't want to feel pain any longer, she doesn't want to feel anymore.

My dear, my own breakup had taught me a lot of things, one of which is accepting that pain is part and parcel of love, and of Life itself. Building up walls around your heart so that you don't feel is...like not living at all. I've learnt to take pain which I experience into some sort of a lesson, kinda like the whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing. Pain hurts so dreadfully, it's just damn awful, and it's not like I welcome it; I hate it but if it comes, it comes. Not feeling, even if it's pain, is such a terribly sad thing to me. I don't want to not experience what life has to offer, even the hurtful ones.

And then you said you don't believe in love, or specifically, romantic love. I do have my skeptics sometimes, doubting such a concept. But ultimately, I do believe in (Romantic) Love. Though my lack of self-esteem has made me develop this notion of thinking that Romantic Love will always evade me, I still believe it exists, and not just in shoujo manga fiction either. Call it naivete or wishful thinking, I believe that it is possible for two people to fall truly in love and be mindful of the other's feelings and stay together. God wouldn't make humans with feelings if such a wondrous thing doesn't exist. (Atheists, you may ignore this. LOL.)

"The course of true love never did run smooth." Oh Shakespeare, you couldn't be more right. When you go through bumps and sadness in your relationships, the overcoming and endurance of such things just make it so much more rewarding and meaningful.

Acts of intimacy are sacred symbols done physically out of romantic love between a couple. To have it done not out of love or even when not feeling anything just demeans such a beautifully sacred act; acts such as from the most innocent like holding hands to what goes on behind closed doors. When you do such things out of lust or wanting some form of release or even out of no feelings whatsoever, it's just... demeaning yourself, and those who love you platonically. Even when you're not hurting yourself or the other party engaging in such an act, you're just shredding the fibre of morality embedded in you. And well, you hurt the people who do care for you and your wellbeing. (well, they WOULD be hurt if they knew.) You may be reckless but I know there's some sense of morality and sensibility in you. You're now blessed with an appealing and aesthetically-pleasing attractivenss; don't demean it or abuse it by losing your morals.

I can't enforce my beliefs and ideals onto you, nor can I possibly change your actions, but I hope... this will impact you in some way. Because all and all, I care about you, and I've taken it upon myself to be your moral compass. Sometimes I feel so helpless, like I've lost you somewhere, and I can't seem to find you. I'm not angry at you, just disappointed. Disappointment itself is a form of pain, but it's something I don't regret feeling because it's a pain that shows you're worth something to me.

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."

- Stephan Hoeller

--------

My sister taught me something today, something I agree with wholeheartedly. From now on, I'll call girls who are attractive/good-looking/physically pleasing to the eye as "pretty". "Beautiful" is only reserved for girls who have reached a high level of self-acutalization, kindness, thoughtfulness, optimism, morality and compassion. Which is why among the four of us, I'd have to say that Hazel is the most Beautiful of us all. Shang may say that I'm the kindest among us, but I disagree; Haze is the kinder one, her innocence contributes to it too. There is nothing wrong with innocence; it should be valued, actually.

I hope one day I can be as Beautiful as Haze.

Haz, you're pretty, and I know one day you can be and will be Beautiful too.

2009-06-20T10:22:00.008+08:00

Everyone strives for happiness right? So far, during this June hols, I realise that even if I was poor, in ITE or something, or lost my ability to walk (or any bad situation!), I'd still be happy if God never took away my beloved Shang, Haze and Haz from me.

Lately, we've been conversing a lot via MSN, and I didn't think it was possible, but I could feel the love radiating through my notebook as I chatted with them (: OH AND, WHICHEVER GROUP OF FEMALES THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CONVERSE ABOUT LOVE AND LIFE WITH ONE ANOTHER, I SALUTE YOU, I REALLY DO. GIRL TALK IS AWESOME. To just have a group, or even another single girl, to talk just about anything and bond with one another is wonderful. You really appreciate the connection between you and your friends; it's a pretty amazing feeling actually.

I especially love how the three of them confide in me, telling me things that may or may not be pleasant, but I lap it all up anyway. It's just to show that they trust me, and have faith in me, a feeling which I relish in (: It's a great feeling to be needed, to be trusted. Trust is part and parcel of love after all, and I love my friends platonically after all~

Hmmm. Speaking of which, I think there was a time when I mused about how the four of us (Haz, Haze, Shang and me) are such distinict individuals. Haze is the wide-eyed innocent and cheery one; Shang has the occasional emo angst going on ; Haz is the uber "realistic", albeit cynical one; and I'm... not too sure what I am. XD I'm not a good judge of myself, I feel. Haha. Maybe a mash of Haze and Haz? :p Anyway, we all complement one another, like as if to achieve a balance of harmony~ It's like, like....family.

They say blood is thicker than water, but blood can be messy, and it stains; water is clear, it's pristine.

------------------

"Pain and joy are part and parcel of experiencing love. If something is not worth feeling pain for, then it's not worth at all. But I'm no masochist, 'course I'm afraid of getting hurt. But, I love more than I fear pain."

- Sarah, when enlightening Haze & Shang on her perception of love

"Best thing about Sarah...is that she's really kind. WORST THING ABOUT HER IS, SHE'S TOO KIND FOR HER OWN GOOD. *insert frowny face* SHE'LL GET HURT."

- Shang

"OK THE BEST THING ABOUT YOU [Sarah] IS THAT YOU ARE SERIOUSLY A GOOD FRIEND. YOU LISTEN TO ME WHINE ALOT (HAHA) AND YOU DON'T HESITATE IN GIVING ADVICE. FOR THAT I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. AND YOU'RE REALLY SWEET TOO, YOU KNOW? 8D
[Worst thing about Sarah:] LEMME SEE.... SOMETIMES YOU /CAN/ BE OVER THE TOP WITH YOUR CRUDE JOKES (BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL KILL YOU OVER IT XDDD) AND SOMETIMES YOU DO THAT EYE-ROLL THING THAT DOES...MAKE ME...A BIT OF A MIX BETWEEN "OH NO WHAT DID I DO NOW" AND "WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DO THAT DDD:"

- Hazel

P.S. Crap, June hols end after next week and I've yet to finish my work! (As always.) @.@

2009-06-14T17:16:00.003+08:00

On Friday, I arranged for Haz, Wen Ling, Michelle & I to celebrate Shang's birthday. 8D We had a great lunch at Swensens (specially chosen because Haz has never eaten there, can you believe it? O:) @ IMM before making our way to Shang's place for movies and cake (courtesy of yours truly)! ^^

For Shang's birthday gift, I handsewed a miniature cushion decorated with beads and her name stiched on it. What's extra special about it is that I sealed 17 "fortunes" inside, hoping that in some way, it'd bless the birthday girl~

It was hard to come up with 17 fortunes, but I did it anyway :D

May Shang be blessed by God.

May Shang live long.

May Shang live in a peaceful environment.

May Shang meet many other good friends.

May Shang be blessed with good heath.

May Shang continue to be financially stable.

May Shang be safe from harm.

May Shang's dreams come true.

May Shang be academically successful.

May Shang have a fruitful career.

May Shang's efforts be rewarded.

May Shang have a loving & happy family.

May Shang have a happy marriage.

May Shang continue to improve and progress.

May Shang have self-confidence.

May Shang always have a reason to smile.

May Shang find true love.

HAPPY (EARLY) 17TH BIRTHDAY SHANG! *HUGGLES*

2009-06-14T17:10:00.000+08:00

First things first: PRE UNIVERSITY SEMINAR ROCKED. HARD.

Besides the JCs, the polytechnics and IP schools (e.g. River Valley, NUS High etc) participated as well. Each institution (they use this word over "school". Lol.) was assigned a topic pertaining to the current economic crisis and had to do a presentation on it. For example, YJC's topic was "Expression & Crisis", about how the arts community was doing in the midst of the economic crisis. It was the J2s who presented, so we J1s had more time off XD But we helped them of course~

Every participant was assigned into a Seminar Group, whereby everyone was mixed with students from other schools. Every day, we would have to attend a Parallel Presentation session, whereby we would watch the institutions assigned to present their, erm, presentations on their topic. Afterwards, we may ~~grill~~ ask them questions on their topic. Other activities basically revolved around doing stuff to bond as a group, such as games in Sentosa and "Amazing Race"-styled activity. Oh, and each of us had to sew on a patch of cloth, any design, any picture of our choice with words that complied with the Seminar's theme, From Crisis to Confidence. By the end of the seminar, all of our patches will be displayed like a giant patchwork quilt :3

My only gripe? We had to be in FORMAL institution attire when we attended the presentations. Which equates to blazers, ties and long sleeved shirts underneath. Not pleasant at all in Singapore's warm weather u.u But I have to admit we do look rather smart in them XD The poly students look so professionally grown up in formal attire, while the JC students look like we're trying too hard to look grown up :p

Photos are up in the GALLERY, and unlike those I uploaded on Facebook, these included pictures of my ~~small~~ cosy room and the hostel grounds @ Prince George's Park Residences~

Preview:

The banner that greeted us everytime we return from NUS to the hostel.

It says, "A residential programme for the leaders of tomorrow from 27 post-secondary institutions". Moi, a leader of tomorrow? XD

My Seminar Group!

You just wish you look this good in formal attire. ;DDD

2009-06-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

I promised Shang I'll blog about my 5-day residential Pre-University Seminar at NUS, and I will, mind you. Sometime this coming week, I swear.

But just to reply to Shang's comment about me in her blog:

Sweetie, I graciously accept your thanks and I just want to thank you too, for being such a wonderful friend I treasure, even with the "dark" personality. When you love someone, you appreciate their merits but also accept their flaws. We're all so flawed in our own unique ways, but guess what, your merits outweigh those flaws. (: And that is why you, and our beloved family as well, have so rightfully earned my love. It touches me on how you wish for my happiness, and just know that this wish is mutual too; I'm always so concerned for your wellbeing. Giving up has crossed my mind sometimes, but in the end, we'll both strive together Y/Y? :D And one more thing. It does amuse me that you think I'm the most "innocent and kindest among all of us". XD But I guess being naive and holding steadfast to my beliefs of love & friendship have earned me that compliment ;3 Well hey, you and Haze are kind and innocent too~ ~~(can't say so much about Haz, though. XDDDD)~~

And to reply to Hazel's blog post:

I really, really, REALLY miss you as well. I keep thinking how so much more vibrant & fun ~~and bearable~~ JC life would be if you [and Haz & Shang too] were there with me. If we were all at YJC, taking the same subject combinations (though I seriously doubt you would take H1 Math, you geek xD), I can imagine us rolling our eyes at our Chem tutor for wearing crocs to go with his Ralph Lauren brand shirt (not kidding here), totally not paying attention during Bio lectures 'cause we're too busy cracking up with the jokes we're exchanging, correcting our Econs lecturer's grammar, and somehow, we'll all like Mdm Grace, our GP tutor for her wit (she's like the less crude, more politically-corrected version of Mrs Christine Wong!). Oh, and, Haz & I would snicker at you and Shang for needing to attend MT lessons while we don't as we took HMT in O Level. XDDDD What fun it'd be. ((: And one more thing; Haz tried smoking and now you tried gambling? No wonder Shang and I ended up twisted, with such parents like these :p

2009-05-29T21:16:00.004+08:00

Haz is "through with guys", and I'm tempted to follow her footsteps as well. Hell, I should just go skirt-chasing, right?

.....Okay, wait. I'm talking nonsense. Ignore that.

I'm just so glad I'm off to Pre U Seminar @ NUS next week. It's a delightful start to the June ~~hols~~ BREAK, a month I've been waiting for ever since I started schooling in JC. And right now, I need a break more than ever. Today was horrible; utterly, completely, totally, devastatingly horrible, I tell you. I FUCKING SCREWED UP MY GP PAPER 1 BLOCK TEST.

I don't curse much (and if I do, it's with censorship) in my blog and if you see me do, it means I am that upset over something. DDDDDDD:

Maybe it's because I haven't exactly written an expository essay under exam conditions before. Or maybe I just suck and narratives have been my forte for too long. There was this psychological barrier that clouded my judgement and thoughts during the test just now that I couldn't fucking write a decent piece of essay. I was panicking, my points were jumbled up, and I didn't even managed to fill up both sides of the foolscap paper.

I AM SO FUCKING SCREWED ;A;

Gah. Alright, I shall stop swearing from this point onwards. I was channelling Haz's spirit, I swear. XD

Is anyone interested in the comments my tutors wrote on my report slip for Semester 1? x3

Civics tutor: Sarah is a cheerful girl who wears a smile on her face all the time. She is always smartly attired without a hair out of place. She is respectful to teachers and friends.

GP tutor: Sarah is a capable writer. She communicates well and preesents her viewpoints articulately. She is motivated to do well. She has to continue to read diligently to build content knowledge.

Math tutor: Sarah is a pleasant and hardworking student. Continue to work hard and strive for better results.

Bio tutor: She works diligently and conscientiously to improve her work. An unassuming and sensible student.

Chem tutor: Sarah must consult the tutor to clarify her doubts. More effort is required from her in order to do well in the subject.

Econs tutor: Sarah is a bright girl and has the advantage of having taken Economics at O Level. She should continue to work on this advantage so that she will be able to do very well in the subject.

So basically, my Chem tutor doesn't have much nice things to say about me D: But I guess I don't blame him. I AM getting more fails than passes in Chem tests, unlike the other subjects. Heck, I only failed once or twice for each of the other subjects, 'cept for GP (but I'm gonna fail the Block Test for it ;A;)

So yeah. June's in, school's out. But crap. I have to do flag day tomorrow. *sulks*

P.S. I miss Haze. I miss Haz & Shang (and the other BPians too. There, happy? XDDD) as well, like always, but right now, after reading Haze's blog, I'm missing her the most now. u.u And though I want July to come quick 'cause that's when Haze returns, I don't want school to start again either x:

Ah well. I love Haze more than I hate school anyway (:

2009-05-10T00:38:00.006+08:00

It's such an amazing & wonderful feeling to love someone, be it romantically or platonically. You feel as though you don't need anything else, just the ones you love. They complete you.

I love so many people who are my friends. I love my sister. I love some of my cousins, my grandmothers, and my aunts. But God punish me for saying that I find it difficult to love my parents. At the most, I respect them and am mostly fond of them, but I would be lying if I said that I love them. I'm sorry that my filial piety does not extend that far.

Back to my topic of love. When it comes to familial love, the person I love most is my sister, without a doubt. When it comes to platonic love outside my family, the people I adore most with every fibre of my being are Yu Shang, Hazel, and Hazrina. (Of course, to my other close friends, I love you too, don't worry ^^) However, there are times when I ask myself if my love is enough. My love can't help Haz and Shang with their problems; does their knowledge of my love even comfort them when my words can't? And I can't help but wonder whether my love is enough to tie Haze with us when I feel like she's so far away, and I don't mean the physical distance.

And then there's the romantic love. Okay, I confess that I enjoy the light-headedness, the occasional flutter in my tummy, the fuzzy feeling I get inside as though I'm eating chocolate; the symptoms of having romantic feelings for someone. But it drives me NUTS too. Being romantically in love is one of the most mind-boggling experiences I've ever had. I feel like I want to spend as many moments with that person, to hold conversations and laugh together, but at the same time, I want to avoid that person for fear of being seen as dull & uninteresting and being compared to another.

Another thing on love. It really saddens me when love dies. Even if Person X has hurt me a lot and I instantly stopped loving that person after the betrayal, I still grieved. I sometimes wish I could be like those I know who can detach themselves from the pain that arises from loving others; to be indifferent. But woe on my sensitive and feeble self, I am vulnerable when I love. When I love someone who is really very close to me, that love takes root in my heart. When I stop loving that person, it's like wrenching a flower from the ground; it hurts, dammit. So then, now that I think about it... how can I bear to be indifferent? To brace myself for the pain that follows, so that when it comes, I get over it quickly and not be affected? That's just not how the way I love works. I like to think that my love is true. When I feel hurt by the people I love, it means that they're worth something for me to actually get upset over them.

....This is really getting melodramatic. I'm going to watch Moulin Rouge for comfort. And possibly eat some Cadbury. (Yes, I am aware it's this late at night.)

2009-05-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

Alright, seeing as it's been nearly 4 months I've been in JC, it's about time I started mentioning my friends there, yes? (: Well, I mostly hang out with three people: Yi Xiu, Arthur & Joel. The four of us. 8D

I. YI XIU

I guess from this point of time, she's officially my closest girl friend in YJC. Yi Xiu can be such a sweet girl, but when she's pissed, boy, does can she sting! Her mood shifts are unpredictable; one minutes she's teasing Joel with the rest of us, and the next she's having an inferiority complex moment. Like me, she laments over her choice of going to a JC instead of a poly.

I can tell that she looks up to me to a certain extent, since she constantly asks me to read through her essays to check for errors, uses me as a form of motivation when we run for 2.4 during PE, and has this amazed look in her eyes whenever I ace a Math test. Yi Xiu got a higher raw score than me for Os, but she's really diligent and tries her best, which sometimes spurs me on to slack less. (Just a little! Haha.) Oh, (and Haz will be pleased to know this), we do quite a fair bit of bitching as well XD Okay, so maybe we bitch a lot.

II. ARTHUR

I never thought I'd ever find someone else in S'pore who speaks Skate like me 8D That's right, Arthur's a big figure skating fan! Finally, there's someone with whom I can talk about how slow Caroline Zhang crosses over the ice, how insanely in love I am with Angela Maxwell, how impressive Mao's Masquerade Waltz is, etc. Of course, we do have our share of debates; he supports the Canadians, I favour the Japanese. But, it is still great to have a friend you can gush with about your favourite sport. (:

Arthur does have his annoying side though; he dozes off a lot during lectures and keeps bugging me to help with his PI and Econs. Like, I don't mind helping, but please, just pay attention to the tutor for once? *scowls*

III. JOEL

Thanks to him, I learnt that Maris Stella is NOT a co-ed school as I had previously thought, but a boys' school. (I mean, look at the school name! It sounds girly! How could I not think it had female students? :x) Joel is easily the smartest guy among us based on O Level results, having the lowest raw score among us all. Plus he takes 4 H2 subjects, so that says a lot.

Joel is always the one among us that we tease the most; he gets embarrassed and flustered so easily! XD One of our favourite things to tease him about is that our Bio tutor is VERY fond of him (he's the Bio rep, see) and he gets squeamish about people of the same gender being opnely affectionate to each other. So Arthur occasionally bats his eyelashes at him and tries to hug him while Yi Xiu & I declare our love for each other. All in the name of good fun ;D

~~~~~~~

Make new friends but don't forget the old. One is silver, the other gold.

2009-05-06T17:49:00.004+08:00

Other than the recent boredom in school, I am rather excited, no, make that VERY excited, about the Pre-University Seminar 2009 happening next month 8DDD I signed up for it because it struck me a lot like RMUN, and we get to rub shoulders (not literally of course xD) with students from other JCs and polys. And the absolute best part?

IT'S A RESIDENTIAL SEMINAR. WE GET TO STAY AT A CAMPUS AT NUS. *FAINTS*

Today (just now, actually x3), the other YJCians selected for the Pre U Sem & I went over to IJC for a briefing. AND WE WERE SHOWN PICS OF THE CAMPUS. GOD, IT LOOKED LIKE A FREAKING CONDO. We're all getting single rooms, though I would've wanted each of our rooms to have our own personal bathrooms, but I guess a posh bedroom will suffice ;D And one of the activities would be held at Sentosa. So I guess now I know what the "swimming costume" in our packing list is for... *cringes*

OKAY. MATH IS OFFICIALLY MY BEST SUBJECT. I've failed at least once in all the other subjects (Just failed an Econs test for the first time. I usually pass it thanks to my O Level knowledge of it, but didn't study for the most recent one). In fact, I'm aceing Math. Maybe because it's H1. *shrugs* And I guess I'm doing fine for GP too. Every time we get back our essays or compres, everyone else will immediately ask how much I got. Well, excuse me, I'm flattered, but seriously, just you all wait, the next essay won't be as good. u.u Anyway, back to Math. It's also my fave subject here in JC. Yes, it's not GP. ~~I miss writing narratives ;A;~~

HAZE RETURNS IN LESS THAN 2 MONTHS' TIME! (:

~~~~~~

Today's story will be:

There was once a little girl who loved wearing a plain blue cotton dress her family made her. Every stitch was done with love and care; oh she cherished it. But one day, she received a new dress, one with lovely silk sashes and ruffless and lace and pretty sparkly gems outlining the hem. Fascinated and excited, she wore it every day, forgoing her old one. She loved twirling and dancing in her new dress; wearing it simply made her feel more special than ever. And one day, the new dress lost its beautiful sheen; the gems began falling off, rips and tears came easily, the satin became increasingly wrinkled, the lace became frayed, the ruffles as well. Disappointed, she tried finding her old dress, as she realised how reliable it was, how she missed it, its warmth and comfort. She searched her entire wardobe for it, searching and searching and searching... But it wasn't there. She became even more upset. Tears filled her eyes, but before she wept, she noticed her old dress all laid out for her on her bed, as though patiently waiting for its beloved owner to don it.

2009-04-28T00:55:00.007+08:00

I am a selfish, selfish child.

My selfishness stems from my insecurity, and in turn breeds oversensitivity, paranoia and envy. Recent events have made me self-reflect even more than I usually do. I am only human after all; I am no saint, I am prone to sin and harbour nasty, wicked thoughts and feelings, and in doing so, I only inflict upon myself even more emotional turmoil.

~~God, I can be such a masochist.~~

~~~~~

Here's a little story I thought up.

Elizaveta has a fickle heart. When she loves someone, she pours out her adoration, which "overflows" from the basin of her heart. And yet, her affections shift to another as easily as the wind blows over. At present, Elizaveta is deeply smitten by Feliks, whom she tries to be as close to as possible. Her progress is hindered by her lack of self-worth and her guilt over her apparent envy towards her dear friend, Ivana. Yes, Elizaveta gets envious very easily, for Ivana gets along very well with Feliks, something Elizaveta feels she does not and will never match with the current state of meekness she can't help but display around Feliks, even with all the physical affections she showers. Her envy towards Ivana wrecks her with guilt, and her adoration for Feliks drives her to the brink of obsession....

2009-04-22T17:43:00.005+08:00

Can you believe it? Melvyn motivated me to blog. ;D

My, how time flies. April is nearly ending, which means that a third of the year is nearly gone. And even though it's been a few months already, I bloody miss all my BP friends. ;A;

Speaking of which, HAZE IS BACK FROM AUSSIE!!!! 8DDDD She's still the same, sweet, amusing, albeit naive, Hazel from my awesome BP days. When I first saw her after so long, Igave her a HUGE bear hug, to make up for the days she wasn't here with us. XD It's great to reunite with a dear friend~ So, in honour of darling Haze, I am organizing an ice skating outing for her (with other people invited of course) this Saturday. ((:

JC has made me rather melancholic these days. Even more than my less-than-happy primary school days. I don't know how I can go on if not for Shang's daily smses which ~~crack~~ cheer me up no matter how down I am that day, and regular night phone conversations with Haz. Those two are my antidepressants, I tell you. Oh, and shopping too. I was feeling a bit empty last Sat but instantly cheered up when Dad brought us to the John Little sale, where I bought an adorable new dress. XD

What can I say? It's retail therapy.

Would've liked this RARE post to be longer but what the heck. I've become lazy again. 8D Till next time! (But who knows when it'll be? :p)

Oh, and best wishes to Haz (and Janice & everyone else) on her new poly life! ~~*envies*~~

2009-03-19T15:58:00.004+08:00

Now that it's the March holidays, I mean, BREAK, there shouldn't really be an excuse for me not to blog, no?

There. I've officially survived a whole term of beingin a JC. You know what's the one thing I like about my JC (other than its convenient location) ? The friends I made there. They are just wonderful, awesome people, and I think life in a JC wouldn't be very fun without them. Hell, other than that, I have become very indifferent about being in a JC. I have to accept that sad, sad fact eventually. Though I doubt I'd find it in my heart to forgive them, the ones who made me go to one in the first place. I'm sorry to say that. D:

I was thinking about how much I've changed since last year. How much I've evolved. Have I matured? Maybe, maybe not. Seeing as I'm still the same "diligent" person I was last year, maybe it's a no. I still make ridiculous jokes ~~that verge on the obscene sometimes~~ and I still laugh hysterically at times. I still maintain my stance on celibacy.

So have I changed at all?

Well, I have been disillusioned by a certain someone. What she did wasn't necessarily bad; you could say it was a harsh dose of reality. After all, isn't it naive to believe that the people you call your friends are always nice, sincere and ever ready to put you before themselves? I'm not saying that my friends are selfish or self-centred; all I'm saying is I was told that not all may be what they seem. Friends are still human after all; it is somewhat expected if there are more to them than what you see and hear. And with that, you come to accept their flaws and faults, even if it does disturb you a little.

How else have I changed? I've become what I never thought I'd be. Only two people in the world know about it, and that, reader, is my little secret.

P.S. HAZEL IS COMING BACK TO S'PORE NEXT MONTH! :DDD I just love her to bits.

2009-03-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

CAMPS ARE EVIL. PERIOD.

As if I haven't been through enough during OBS u.u My school just sent us on a 4-day, 3-night overseas camp in Bintan, Indonesia. It was traumatising. Why?

Two words: MASS SHOWERS. *shudders* DDDDD: Not to mention an icky centipede was in our tent one night and I had diarrhea on the last day. ;A; Seriously, I never, ever, EVER want to go on any sort of camp again. I-I like my comforts back home ._.

2009-02-22T21:12:00.007+08:00

After reading Hazel's blog, I got the drive to do so as well. XD And because I also don't want to disappoint Geelyn, my most faithful reader. ~~Unless she has already stopped reading my blog after I haven't posted for so long. LOL.~~

And now I'm going to relate to you all what I have already told Haz & Shang. It'll start with a quote....

They say you never forget your first love.

Well, my first love was actually this boy who was in my class in Primary One. Yes, I had a crush on someone when I was that young; blame it on raging hormones. XDDDD It was pretty much a "silent" love on my part, as I never confessed. This went on till all the way to Primary Six.

We parted ways when we went to different secondary schools, and my liking for him pretty much died out, especially with...what happened in Sec 2, when someone came into my life. ANYWAY, can you imagine how it felt like I was having cardiac arrest, when I saw my "first love" in my JC! *faints* As Shang & Haz would put it, it felt like destiny (not that I place much faith in such a concept XD).

So....yeah. That's pretty much the most interesting thing that has happened in YJC so far. ;D Oh yeah, and the entire JC1 cohort has to go for this camp in Bintan this coming Thursday. ARGH I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE CAMPS. DDDD:

2009-02-08T14:49:00.015+08:00

Because I turn 17 today, I shall blog. ;D

Kudos to Shang for being the first person to sms me Happy Birthday! And on 12mn too, right on the dot! Second person to do so was Geelyn~! I LOVE YOU GUYS! *huggles* :DDDD

For the record, I am posted to Yishun JC, WHICH IS A WONDERFUL 15 MIN WALK FROM MY HOUSE. I LOVE THAT CONVENIENT LOCATION! It's a nice change from the 40-50 min journey home from BP during my sec school years (Not that I'm complaining; I don't mind as I love BP to bits ^^). So basically, this past week was the orientation, which I found to be just OKAY. I'm not much of an orientation fan. They're always so...peppy; they want you to be super-enthusiastic and cheer your lungs out, which I do NOT enjoy, thank you very much. (Gah, I sound like a killjoy. D: )

And guess what? The first friend I made in YJC is a FENCER. The second friend I made is an ~~yaoi~~ anime fangirl. Can I not find two more perfect friends in my new school? XD

By the way, if you're gonna bash YJC or have a low opinion on it, DON'T SAY IT TO MY FACE. I don't have anything against a JC who apparently, does not have a cut-off point (COP), so it can open its doors to all. (Its COP is stated as 20 because, well, according to MOE, only those with 20 & below are qualified for JC.) Plus, it's the TOP VALUE-ADDED JC OKAY. ;D All JCs are the same to me anyway. They all have a J and a C in their school name. (Am saying this as I'm still sore about not going to a poly like I wanted. u.u)

Speaking of which...I have never envied Haz before. BUT NOW I DO.

Why? Because she is free. She has the freedom to choose whether she wants to work, whether she wants to go to a poly or a JC, and she's free to choose the course she wants.

To add further salt to my wounds, I'm pressured by my parents to take up Econs, which I DO NOT LIKE, instead of Literature, which I LOVE. Just because it's more "useful". WHATEVER. Passion for a subject counts more to me. Hello, B4 for Econs, A2 for Lit; does that not tell them anything? DDDD<

Why don't I let them choose my future career as well? That would make them SO happy. u.u

Enough of the moody thoughts. I'm off to feel good about turning a year older~

P.S. I miss my BPian friends. ;A;

2009-01-20T23:53:00.004+08:00

Geelyn motivated me to blog. She's such a motivator (if there is such a word) XD

Seeing as I'm ~~doomed~~ set for a life in JC, it means my holiday's gonna end next month, which reeeeeaaaaaally saddens me ;___; I'm already so used to NOT waking up at 5.30, and sleeping around 1-2am every day. And I probably need to go through Math, Bio and Chem before school starts, because I've forgotten nearly everything about them, I suppose.

That's such a depressing thought that I shan't speak about it. But I also face another dilemma, as I don't have a clue what I'm going to wear for CNY. ~~Why do I sound like a bimbo just now? ._.~~

Anyway, my ever generous aunt has offered to get me something for passing my O levels. She does this for all her nieces and nephews, as she doesn't have kids of her own. I told her that I'd have to think about it, but right now I'm torn between a new Mp3 player and a ticket to Disney on Ice: Princess Wishes. Yes, I know that most people would egg me on the Mp3, but I LOVE Disney on Ice. I remember the first time I watched it with Liyana's family, and it was enchanting. (: That's the most perfect word there is to describe it.

Oh, and I want to rant. About what? Well, apparently it was too much to hope for that the Trilingual Digest would publish my essay perfectly this time. If you remember, I lamented how last year, they utterly mutilated my essay when they published it. I was so outraged that I tore out my essay from that issue. Well, this time, there was no page-tearing, but there was some dissatisfaction. You're going to think I'm over-reacting once I reveal what was wrong with the published essay, but hey, I'm such a drama queen.

They omitted a sentence from my essay.

There, I said it. And it was a very important sentence, mind you. That sentence was supposed to bring an impact to the reader; it tied the whole story together! O: And the TD team didn't see fit to print out one little sentence, I can't believe this. But well, I should be grateful they even published my essay, which I am. Though I can't help but be miffed, can't I? I treat my stories (well, most of them) like my children, nurtured lovingly from the depths of my imagination to be forever immortalised in paper & ink.

So, if any of you happen to be reading my essay entitled "Dreams" in the Trilingual Digest 2009, there should be a last sentence at the end: Just like that, their dreams went up in smoke.

2009-01-13T10:43:00.004+08:00

NEW BLOGKIN FOR THE NEW YEAR. (: I really like this skin; I think the girl has a very nice graceful extension on her arabesque.

Guess I'll be sticking with Blogger. ~~For now XD~~

Well, yesterday was Judgement Day. All I can say is I GOT MY A1 IN ENGLISH HAH THAT'S WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME. :DDDDD And after I was so worried about whether I screwed up my Paper 1. Guess those Cambridge people really did like my essays. ;D

I think the biggest shocker would have to be Combined Humanities. Man, the entire nation must've did badly in SS+Lit because I could still A2 after not completing my Lit unseen prose, and making the blunder of only explaining 2 factors out of 3 in one of my SEQs. Either that or my SBQ and my essay on F451 must've really rocked. I like to think that it was the latter. :3

AND OH MY GOD, HAZ & I HAVE TO KISS MR CHIAM'S FEET XDDD Scoring a B3 for E Maths? Sensational~! For me at least XD Hey, it might not be a distinction, but this coming from the girl who never got anything higher than B4 (or C5. can't remember which.) for EMaths for Sec 3 - 4 is something to smile about, eh? (:

I guess it was too much to hope for a distinction in Econs, especially with the tight competition coming from the small pool of candidates in Singapore. Still, it's a B ^^

Ah...the Sciences. I was pretty bummed not getting an A1 for Bio, but it's still a distinction, so I got over it pretty quickly. And I never expected an A for Chem, so a B3 is satisfactory too ^^v

And now.....us ex-Sec 4s stand at the Crossroad of Destiny~

As you all know (at least, my close friends would know XD) , Miss Sarah Lee would die to get into the Poly of her choice. But, damned it all, Miss Sarah Lee's dad UTTERLY DISAPPROVES of her doing so. So now I'm stuck looking through the JCs I'm eligible for. ;___;

The thing is, because I didn't pass my A Maths (not that I give a hoot about), I can't take H2 Maths. However, most of the subject combinations available for the Science stream require H2 Maths. I saw one which offered H1 Maths, but I didn't take Geog in Sec school so it's pointless. And since my ambition is related to the Sciences, I really want to take the Science stream, if a JC accepts me that is (GOD FORBID) .

Serangoon JC and Tampines JC provides the subject combos I'm most comfortable with, and Yishun JC provides "flexible" subject combos which "students are given the option to study subjects of their choice if they meet the subjects' prerequisites and if there are no scheduling constraints". Frankly, I don't give a damn which JC I'm being pushed to go to because it's not what I truly want.

Dreams die. Because the person who brought me up just stabbed it in the back.

2009-01-04T22:28:00.001+08:00

Just so you know, I'm considering officially closing down this blog and switching over to my Livejournal. I don't know; still pondering over it.

2008-12-31T12:13:00.001+08:00

The reality of graduating from BPGHS is still starting to sink in. I must say, Secondary School life were the best moments of my life so far (You can just imagine how primary school was for me. :p) . I don't want to be in my Mourning Mode so I'm going to spread some cheer by giving out some "awards" to people who, in one way or another, have affected me deeply in my 4 years spent in BP. (:

Congrats to the following who have received GOLD:

Hazrina
Hazel
Yu Shang
Geelyn
Janice
Mrs Wong
Amirul

Congrats to the following who have received SILVER :

Benjamin
Herianti
Nurliyana
Mr Chiam
Hannah
Mrs Joseph
Eleanor
Alex

Congrats to the following who have received BRONZE:

Xi Ying
Xue Yun
Elvina
Wan Yi
Jasmine
Nabilah
Shu Ying
Amanda
Jia Xuan

And special Honourable Mentions for the following:

Nurliyana, for being the FIRST friend I made in BP.

Melvyn, for reinforcing my choice in embracing celibacy when I enter adulthood.

Geelyn & Hazrina, for ~~leading me to consider if I was bisexual XD~~ being so close to me that it feels we should've been sisters instead of schoolmates. (No offense to my real sis, Sabrina ;D)

~~Miss Jesmine (surprise surprise) for proving me that teachers CAN be fashionable. Or not.~~ Just kidding! :p

Hazrina [again], for changing me for the better (or worse XD) by influencing me to be more "open minded".

And lastly, here are my THANKS to those who have made me smile, befriended me, or affected me positively in one way or another during my fantabulous years in BP. (This includes my teachers too!)

It's been an awesome time~! ((:

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE! A FEW MORE HOURS TO 2009!

2008-12-25T12:27:00.005+08:00

I can't believe I was SO CLOSE to getting stuck in the Singapore Flyer for 7 hours o.O

My mum had 5 free tickets to it so I went for a ride with my sis and cousins. Thank goodness we alighted just a mere 15(?) minutes before the Flyer came to a halt. ~~God must love me :p~~ Still, even if I did get stuck on it, I just happened tohave brought along my NDS, so it would've kept me alive from utter boredom during those long hours. LOL.

Sorry for the short post. I'm lolling about the house for Christmas XD

P.S. I can't believe 2009 is just next week! O:

2008-12-16T21:01:00.012+08:00

Yes, I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but I feel that I should blog when I'm in the mood for it, and not because it's some obligation for me to do so. Or else, it'll just be something like homework. Lol.

Can you believe there's only about 2 more weeks till 2008 ends? To think that this year's going to be over... It has been very memorable. Truly, it has.

Anyway, about my trip to Australia, I've summed it up to two lists below.

EIGHT THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY AUSTRALIA TRIP:

8. The flight. I actually love flying, especially if the airline provides good movies onboard. During my plane ride to Melbourne, I actually watched the movies Wanted and Get Smart [again], as well as two episodes of The Simpsons. It wasn't a boring flight at all! (Though I wouldn't say the same for the flight back home.)

7. The TV advertisements. They are so funny and much wittier than the ones here in S'pore. 8D

6. Chinatown in Sydney. It was where we found a stall in a food court which sells "Singaporean" food, like chicken rice. It's not really authentic, nor as tasty as the food here of course, but it is nice to eat something similar after living on a diet of Fish&Chips, pizza, kebabs, Indian food and instant noodles.

5. The recycling bins. Nearly ALL the rubbish bins in public places are accompanied with a recycling bin. Guess Australians are much more environmentally-friendly than us.

4. The Sydney Opera House. It's one thing to see it on a postcard, and another to see it in real life. I think it's really a beautiful landmark. <3

3. The fact that AUS$ was weaker than SGD$ at that time. Makes spending money much more bearable.

2. The excellent service. If you go to a restaurant or a shop, the people working there are so friendly and polite! They actually act as though they care about the customers! (I'm serious.)

AND THE NO. 1 THING I LOVE ABOUT IT IS...

1. The SHOPPING! I'm actually contributing to their economy, thank you very much. ;D

*******

FOUR THINGS I HATE ABOUT MY AUSTRALIA TRIP:

4. My brother's taking of candid shots. It's annoying. VERY annoying.

3. The chilly weather. Seriously, the temperature went as low as 15 degrees, if I recall correctly. It was hard to believe it was summer time. u.u But that was in Melbourne. Sydney was something like S'pore, but windier.

2. Difficulty in finding a suitable place to dine. Especially when you're a Muslim.

AND THE NO. 1 THING I HATE ABOUT IT IS...

1. It was WAY TOO LONG! I was already starting to miss everything back home by the time a week had passed. (It was a 16 day trip.)

*******

These days, I'm either at the computer, watching ~~parlour walls~~ TV or playing my NDS. But I do go out with my friends of course. Just recently I went over to Haz's house to play on her PlayStation 3 XD. I can't recall the title of the game we played but it was something similar to Guitar Hero. We played in a rock band and I was on guitar while Haz was either on drums or vocals. It was a blast!

Plus, last Saturday, in preparation for the EOY cosplay convention held in the S'pore Expo, I went over to Shang's place and my jaw dropped at her condo unit. I definitely wouldn't mind trading houses with her! Anyway, at the Expo, we (Haz, Shang & I) reunited with Amirul after soooo long, and met up with Hazel there too. :3 It was a day well spent!

Oh, and there's a picnic this Sunday at Botanic Gardens too! :DDDD I'm so loving all this freedom I have now that Os is over!

2008-11-24T10:40:00.002+08:00

Choir concert pics are ~~finally~~ up, but way more importantly...

PROM PHOTOS ARE UP ;DDDD

* I just realised that I don't have that many prom photos after all. u.u And luckily, all of them got my approval to be uploaded XD

Anyway, do take note that I will on vacation abroad from 24 Nov to 10 Dec. My flight's this evening. So do not sms me unless I sms you. Really. (:

See you in about 16 days! :D

2008-11-21T22:24:00.004+08:00

I was actually crying just now because of a sad little story I read online. Damn, somtimes I hate being so easily affected by anything that's tragic. Even if a character cries on TV/ movie, I might start crying with that person as well. u.u ~~My tear glands are traitorious.~~

Out of bordom I compiled this:

SARAH'S LIST OF THINGS TO DO NOW THAT O LEVELS ARE DONE & OVER WITH:

Prepare for the trip to Australia. This includes disciplining myself not to overpack (again), even when the trip is slightly longer than 2 weeks.
Get started on the uber thick book Dad purchased for me during the MPH book sale.
Read Nightmare of Nunnally.
Convince Sis to wear my prom dress to HER prom next year. (Though this can be postponed till after Sis's Os.)
Visit the new and improved Yishun Library.
Somehow cough up cash to go ice skating at Kallang. (Highly unlikely.)
Drop by Haz's house (on a day she's not working) to play some PS2 games.
Find part-time employment. (Really.)
Complete those unfinished stories I've been putting off out of sheer laziness.
Clean my room. Or at least, clear my desk.

2008-11-19T10:32:00.013+08:00

PROM NIGHT IS LOVE.

I have been anticipating my school prom ever since I watched Carrie, a movie about a girl who telekinetically killed everyone in her senior prom when she was humiliated in front of the whole school after being crowned Prom Queen. Yeah, it was actually a horror movie, but aside from the grosteque parts, it actually showed how prom was to be a memorable event every student should enjoy. Because I've been waiting for my school prom for so long (I think it was since Pri 4?) , I wanted that night to be perfect, simply perfect. (:

Just a few days ago, I was counting the total expenses spent for my prom, excluding the ticket itself. After nearly foaming at the mouth when it accumulated to nearly $200 (about a quarter of it sponsored by my parents), I murmured that with this much being spent, prom better be "one hell of a night".

Thankfully, IT WAS. :D Every cent was worth it.

Yesterday, the Big Day, started off not so good. I went down to the dry cleaner's around 9am to pick up my dress. It was originally planned for us to meet at Shang's house at 3 to dress up and get ready. To my utter horror, I was informed that my dress was only ready for collection approximately around 5pm! That's only 2 hours away from the big event! O.O If I didn't maintain my composure, I would've started hurling vulgarities to the poor man, but I was more panicky to be angry, to be honest.

So, the plan to meet at Shang's house had to be changed. After discussing it with Shang, Haze and Haz, Plan B was for me to get ready at Haz's place and meet them all there at Raffles instead, as Haz only finished her part-time job at 3. Then, things became better, when I received an SMS from the dry cleaner around 3.15 that my dress arrived earlier and could be collected! :DDD

Dress finally secured in my possession, I headed to CCK to rendezvous with Haz and get my hair done in the salon. It must be every girl's dream to have two guys fawning over her, or in my case, fawning over her hair XD. The two hair stylists who attended to me gave me the most adorable curls; they were, as I would describe it, bouncy :3 It took nearly an hour to achieve those curls. Though I guess they didn't apply enough hairspray, as my curls started to give way around the time the buffet began and didn't last until prom ended. u.u

After a quick stop to purchase Haz's stockings and hair wax (to style her hair), it was off to Haz's house (my second home XD) be transformed! ;D Putting on our dresses and applying make up took longer than expected, probably because I struggled with putting on my lenses (those things are murder! O: ) We eventually left the house around 6.40, if I recall correctly, hailed a cab, and off we went for the ~~ball~~ prom! XD

Speaking of Haz, for those who don't read her blog, I proudly announce that I was the Fairy Godmother to Haz's Cinderella ;D Why? Because the day before prom, due to certain circumstances, Haz HAD NO DRESS. Of all the catastrophes that could've happened, it had to be this. I was very anxious for her, and I declared that I would "make miracles" if I had to, just so she can have a dress for prom. Thus, on Monday, I went to buy the dress she was eyeing before while she was at work (thus she had no time to buy it herself). And there you go, ~~Illegitimate Daughter~~ Fairy Godmother to the rescue! XD

Back to prom. Haz & I arrived just as everyone was settling into their tables. My first reaction was WOAH! EVERYONE LOOKS SO GLAM! :DDD I was so delighted that everyone made an effort to dress up, as I've seen how previous batches of BPians had came to prom looking... less than glam, if you get my drift. Plus, the ballroom was soooo pretty! XD Can you blame me if I envisioned prom to be nothing less than fairy tale-like? :3

The buffet was good, but the highlights of the night had to be the lucky draw, the coronation of the Prom King & Queen, and the dancing! That's right; dancing, people! ;D I was a bit miffed that majority of the lucky draw winners were among the 100+ numbers (though congrats to Benjamin for winning something ^^) , but I've never been lucky with such things anyway. And, ALL HAIL HER ROYAL HIGHNESS JANICE, PROM QUEEN! XD I voted for her 14 times, and thank god, it paid off :p Being the ever sexist person I am, I didn't really bother much with voting for the King. Heh.

Prom made me see why people like to go dancing in clubs, because it IS fun! :D You should've seen Haz; she was...enticing. Hah! Dancing really works up an appetite, so even when I ate my fill during the buffet, I was hungry by the time I reached home. Oh, and the BAD THING: my feet became really sore. Try dancing for about half an hour (or more) on three-inch heels and if you don't feel like dropping, share with me your exercise regime.

Other than sore feet, my throat was hoarse with all the screaming I did when Janice was crowned Queen, and when Shang got pulled on stage to dance with Mr Peacock. THAT'S RIGHT SHANG, YOU DID YOUR "FAMILY" PROUD XD

And lastly, no memorable event would be complete without preserving those memories in images you can look through again. That's why I brought along my camera (my dad's, actually XD). The ballroom wasn't that brightly lit most of the time when we took photos, so the flash nearly blinded us all. @.@ Well, photos will be uploaded (eventually), but of course, those deemed to be too unflattering will never get to see the light of the day ;D

For those who didn't attend prom, YOU MISSED ONE HELL OF A NIGHT; START KICKING YOURSELF NOW. XD There will be other proms of course, in JC/Poly, but there will always be one BPGHS Prom. And that's what makes it so special. (:

2008-11-08T10:34:00.004+08:00

Can you believe how time flies? There's only two more papers to go~! :D

It seems like only 3 weeks ago that our nerves were rattled up by the coming of Os... And now it's nearly over.

Sarah's review on the respective subjects so far:

Econs :D

Chem :D

Eng D:

E Maths :)

A Maths u.u

Bio :/

SS D:

HMT :/

Lit D:

So there's only 3 subjects (excluding Chem P1 which has yet to come) so far that I'm happy with, 3 which I'm completely dissatisfied with, 2 which are on rocky ground ~~and 1 which I really don't give a hoot about~~. Things do look grim for me, doesn't it.

But on a lighter note...

10 MORE DAYS TO PROM! :DDD

Plus, yesterday's shoe shopping really did cheer me up after the less-than-stellar essays I wrote for the Lit paper. I really must say, shopping is a good workout, both physically and psychologically. Physically because my feet were sore after strolling up and down Orchard and Bugis, including exploring a few shopping malls in the process. Psychologically because I had to engage in a heated discussion with my mind, carefully weigh my options, do detailed comparions in my head, before finally deciding which pair of shoes to get after going through a couple of stores. ~~(Such are the things I do for prom. Really.)~~

That's right; shopping seems like the female equivalent of NS huh? XD

2008-10-17T15:17:00.002+08:00

~~Her Majesty~~ Sarah is on official hiatus from blogging until the horrible Os are done with. But if she's in the mood, she might just resume after the Lit paper is over. ;D

Till then, all the best! (:

2008-10-11T15:32:00.015+08:00

It's kinda late news, but better late than never. Graduation Day ~~camwhoring~~ photos courtesy of Hazel's camera are uploaded in the GALLERY! That day was full of crack and randomness. It was hilarious XD We were so un-glam!

[Do take note that due to cetain personal reasons, some photos won't be uploaded. I hope you're happy, Haz. Lol.]

After Graduation Day, we went to Pizza Hut for lunch, and it was my first time ever eating at that restaurant. ;D (Yes, I know I am a deprived child.) After a heated discussion (okay, it was more of a mild one, actually :3), we finally ordered. But the highlight of the Pizza Hut trip wasn't the food, it was the Truth or Dare game we played. Kudos to whoever it was that invented this game, because it is AWESOME. XD

Everyone thought that I came up with the most outrageous questions to ask when anyone picked Truth. Like, I asked Shang, "If you had to make out with one of us in order to save the world, who would it be?" (By the way, there were 6 of us: Haz, Hazel, Clare, Jiale, Shang & myself.) Anyway, Shang picked Hazel! 8D And, I even dared Haz to attempt to sit on one of those little baby seats you can find in fast food joints. Yes, I'm so evil. :p

But there's one important thing we learnt that day. A very important lesson that we will never forget...

.....

....

...

Beware the wrath of Hazrina. The girl can really cook up one mean revenge scheme. u.u

To get back at me for daring her to do something which I won't reveal, she made me shove a spoonful of pepper with cheese and paprika into my mouth. Trust me, DO NOT TRY THIS. It can make you cry and the first instinct you have will be to spit out the vile contents in your mouth. Yuck. Hazel & Shang weren't spared from Haz's wrath either, since they conspired with me to get Haz to do that dare.

Here's a preview of the Grad Day photos:

[Oh, and photos of Shang's, Hazel's & my agony experienced due to Haz's revenge won't be uploaded either.]

More pics at the Gallery. You know which one to click. Duh. :3

(Now, if only Jiale smiled more in photos...)

2008-10-04T19:50:00.005+08:00

SARAH'S TWELVE LITTLE QUIRKS THAT SHE THINKS WILL AMUSE YOU:

She takes pleasure from killing off her characters in her compositions, be it for English lessons or during exams. (Though she has decided not to for her O Level EL Paper. :p)
Her favourite phrase now is "Yes, Your Majesty!" (Haz knows why XD)
Her future career was inspired by an NDS game. (Yes, really.)
She doesn't like chocolate ice cream.
She doesn't mind eating her grandmother's potatoes for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
When sleeping at night, she has a habit of turning on the fan and covering herself with a blanket. (My sis thinks it's strange. Lol.)
She'd rather own a bicycle than a car when she's an adult.
She secretly fantasises raiding Ms Jesmine's shoe closet.
Her definition of the Perfect Man is someone who is morally upright, does housework, and does NOT watch football. (That's why she considers her dad to be semi-perfect; he fits the first two criteria but not the last one.)
She is gleeful when there's any adult nearby who's shorter than her. (Like during SS class. XD)
She used to have the Pokemon theme song in her Mp3. (hey, used to, okay? u.u)
As a child, she was afraid of overhead bridges as she thought that it might collapse onto the road below just as she's crossing it.

***

Monday's Graduation Day and a little bird in the tree told me that Benjamin's the emcee for it. Okay, so it wasn't a little bird, but it's someone who's a reliable source. :3 Anyway, I'm planning to hound Benjamin for the info on who wins what, since he'd know once he gets his script. XD

Well, Grad Day starts at 10.45am, so we don't have to come so early. Still, I'm planning to reach CCK by 8.30 so I can drop by Haz's house and play a few rounds of slashing enemies. What fun. ;D

2008-10-01T15:04:00.003+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE. :D

While I'm caught up with the celebrative mood now, I am still well aware the month of doom has arrived. If I don't post anything next month, it means that I've become best friends with my textbooks and notes. ;D Just so you know.

Now if only there wasn't any school tomorrow. :/

2008-09-18T16:03:00.006+08:00

Let's start off with this cheesy, but surprisingly true line: Dreams DO come true. XDDD It's true because it has something to do with my "Best news ever" that I wanted to talk about in my last post.

I admit that I personally dreamt of receiving an award, any sort of award, from the principal (or VP, whoever just happens to be there) on stage (or even where the flag poles are. Lol.) in front of the school. It's a matter of personal pride and honour to me. I've dreamt of a moment like that for 4 years, basically the entire time I was in BPGHS. I could've gotten that moment last year, when I won Best Article for RMUN, but I missed that chance because ~~fate was cruel~~ I just DIDN'T HAPPEN TO BE THERE AT THAT TIME. u.u

And then, just when I thought I would never get to see that dream fulfilled as it's already my last year here and I'm not entering any competitions, Mrs Wong became the salvation to my dream. ;D

It happened during English class last Thurs, if I recall correctly. Mrs Wong gave out the Certificates of Participation for those who took part in the New South Wales International Competition for Schools (Writing). I just sat there, expecting to get my Certificate of Distinction (pardon my complete lack of modesty XDD) when she said that two of us wouldn't be getting our certs back yet because, here it comes: WE WERE GOING TO GET IT UP ON STAGE NEXT TUES [2 days ago]! :DDDDD

So there you have it, a dream fulfilled. (: Though I must confess that I was kinda mortified to have my Chinese name being called out for me to receive my certificate. I mean, even the name on my cert states "SARAH LEE". Still, I didn't mind it that much because I still got to receive my cert from the principal! :D I swear, I could've just died out of pride on the spot.

Anyway, I'm not sure if you read Haz's blog on a regular basis (which I recommend, because she has one wicked sense of humour! ;D), but she told me a recount whereby a guy from our school displayed true chivalry. I myself am applauding this gallant act displayed by the mysterious guy from 3M1 (Haz found out his class but not his name! LOL :3), who actually offered Haz shelter with his umbrella when they happened to be walking to school last week. It was drizzling at that time. What amazes me so is that this guy and Haz are complete strangers! Yet, he still offered to shelter her! And I thought chivalry was extinct among our generation. ;D I'm glad to be proven wrong here.

Isn't it a lengthy post so far? I'm currently enjoying the fact that my home computer is working faster now. Finally, my brother, whose existance I don't acknowledge unless I can help it, has some use after all. Heh.

Damn it, I'm so hungry now. D: Next week is the last week of the fasting month. Not to mention it's the last week of Sept as well, meaning that Os are... You get the point? Oh, and I sincerely apologise to Clare for the fact that I've changed my mind and that I won't be aiming for ACJC with her after all. Believe it or not, I am very much liking the idea of going to a polytechnic. It depends on what you aim for your future career to be, after all. And I want mine to involve the Health Science Authority. I won't discount entering university at some point of my life, but as of now, I've already mapped out my future and it currently lies on the path to a poly.

Unless of course, I change my mind and decide to go to JC again. Highly unlikely, but that's what I thought too when I picked out my prom dress. *sighs*

2008-09-13T17:18:00.001+08:00

I only have ten minutes before I have a painful separation with the laptop I'm using now. So my fingers are tapping faster than I've ever done before.

Internet connection at home is now slower than paint drying on a wall. Seriously. u.u I don't use it that much now. It took me a laggy connection to get me off the comp, not the fact that Os are looming even nearer now. God, what is wrong with me?

But this week, I received the BEST news ever. :DDDD

Dammit, dad's calling. Till next time!

2008-09-05T18:05:00.007+08:00

While I did my homework and revised during the Sept hols (which isn't a holiday actually, more of a "break"), there is one thing I learnt during this week so far: a new form of anger therapy. ;D

I went over to Haz's house for two days consecutively and we had a blast playing games on her PS2! A particular game I love love love is one that involves ~~killing~~ ~~slashing~~ defeating enemy troops to conquer a new territory until you dominate the whole of Japan! XD I must say, it brought out the sadistic streak in me I never thought I had. Hah. The only thing I regret was not discovering this new way of venting frustration & distraught on 7 Jul, a day I could really use it. u.u

There was another game we played which is a tennis game basically. Apparently, I suck REAL BAD at it. XD One VERY amusing part of the game is that when your character swings his racket but misses the ball, he actually slips and falls ungracefully on his butt. Yes, I laughed at this. Every time. Even if it was the character I was controlling. Didn't I say playing the PS2 brought out the sadistic streak in me? There I was, laughing away at others' (the characters) misfortune of falling down. Pardon my crudeness. ;DDD

Oh, and I've decided not to take the pills after all. My mum said it was okay if I don't want to. *shrugs*

On a much cheerful note, which has nothing to do with my apparent newfound sadism, my prom dress has arrived! :3 Thank you Haz! Now, if only I had THE right shoes to go with it...

But on a second note, I'm having thoughts about this new other dress that's caught my attention. Who knows? I might even change my decision as to which dress to wear on that day. Gah, I'm so fickle! D:

2008-08-30T18:59:00.010+08:00

My Prelim results are less than stellar. Even so, I did get 3 Distinctions, and was close to getting a 4th one too. ^^b

EL: A1. It wasn't a very high A1 though. Still, it's such a struggle to even get an A1 for English (I've not gotten an A1 in a major exam since Sec 2, if I recall correctly) so I'm pretty much happy with it. (:

HMT: C5. Paper 1 was so horribly done, that I didn't get my usual B4 grade. O:

E MATHS: C6. Damn it. D:

A MATHS: Trust me, if I passed, it'd be the biggest shocker of my entire Sec 4 life.

BIO: A2. Was expecting a minimum grade of B4 considering that I only studied HALF of it (chose to focused more on Chem instead). Pretty impressive for me to get his grade, huh? XD

CHEM: C5. Such a disappointment. And I worked so hard for it too! O: Shouldn't have neglected Bio and gotten an A1 instead u.u

SS: A1. I did an SEQ that I didn't even STUDY for Prelims! Paying attention in class does miracles, I tell you. ;D

LIT: B3. Could've gotten an A if not for poor time management. Spent too much time on the Montag essay (which was well-written, by the way XD) that I had to rush through the poem essay. D:

{COMBINED HUMANS: A2}

ECONS: B3. Just a bit more to an A2 though. It's such an improvement from CT II, as I failed it then. (:

" Exceeds Expectations / Meets Expectations / Below Expectations

***

I was quite easily annoyed for the most of today. I actually do have quite a temper you know, though it's very much suppressed during school hours. Perhaps it's because my tolerance level for my schoolmates is much higher than it is for my family members. But I do acknowledge that there's someone (okay, TWO people actually) in school that I seem to be permanently miffed at these days.

Another great source of mild chronic irritation is the pills I have to take! God, I AM SO SICK OF IT. u.u

On a lighter note, I can't wait for my prom dress to arrive! XD

2008-08-22T11:27:00.004+08:00

New skin, new Url.

Why? Because I feel like it. Call it a girl's whim. ;D

Anyway, the dreaded Prelims are over, which means that the dreaded Os are nearing even more than ever. u.u Time for an evaluation on how the papers were...

EL: God, who on earth came up with the essay topics for Paper 1? Yes, I know I've already expressed my displeasure in a previous post; still, I didn't like that paper AT ALL. Paper 2 was easier than expected though. :)

SS: Moral of the story - Just drop one theme, not two. ;___; And I think the SBQ done wasn't my best. :/

HMT: I think my usual B4 is coming my way. Not that I mind. :3 [But honestly, I can't remember what the papers were like; it was too long ago.]

E MATH: I think I lived up to my expectations. Which means that it was pretty good. ^^v

A MATH: Like, WHY DO I EVEN SHOW UP FOR THE PAPER?

LIT: Lucky I did that essay question before. (: But...might not be my best.

ECONS: Essay questions were wonderful, case study sucked. I think the MCQs were pretty okay.

CHEM: Paper 1 was tricky. Seriously. Paper 2 might make up for it though. *remains hopeful*

BIO: *waves my usual distinction goodbye* That's what I get for neglecting it in favour for Chem P2. Paper 1 was today and I made a careless error. O:

And I had my EL Oral Exam as well, with the topic on the elderly. Reading started out fine, but I had no idea why I fumbled on the word persuasion. It was a slip of the tongue, I swear. Picture discussion also went alright, though I was a little annoyed when the examiner interrupted me to ask about a certain part of the picture. (To examiner: Hey, I was going to get there, okay! Geez.) The conversation was the best part, I think. It involved quite a fair bit of me bullshitting my way through, but they'll never know that. 8D Hah.

Oh, and then there was the NE Quiz. God, it was so fun! XD I admit, some questions left me clueless, but I so enjoyed the building process. You're looking at Miss Expert Builder here! :DD

Well, next Monday, we're going on a Bio excursion to the Yakult Factory. :3 Man, Bio has such cool little field trips. First to the Botanical Gardens, now to the Yakult Factory! ~~I don't see the Physics students visiting anywhere~~ Kidding! *imagines a whole mob of Phy students running after me with bricks*

Can you believe August is nearly ending? And fasting starts next month! O:

2008-08-18T17:18:00.000+08:00

On hiatus. Just wait after Biology Paper 1 this Friday.

Hopefully. ;D

2008-08-06T21:56:00.003+08:00

I was certainly unlucky for today's Social Studies prelim paper. x___x Not to mention that yesterday's essay topics for English Paper 1 was so blah.

....Lack of words today for this post. u.u

Oh, and Haz, I WANT MY WEDDING INVITATION! ;DDD

2008-08-02T11:40:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Haz accompanied me to Borders bookstore at Wheelock Place to look for Romance Vol 1. Remember the writing competition I mentioned about, with the genre being romance? Well, last year's top entries were published in Romance Vol 1, and it was recommended for interested participants to have a look at the stories to see the type of stories the judges like, and basically the standard they are looking for.

Well, we did find it (thanks to the help of a friendly Borders employee over at the information counter) and the book was purchased in the end. :p I have to say, the judges sure like sappy work. Personally, I find that the third-prize winning work was better than the first-prize work. Hah.

Still, on the way home, I got not one, but TWO ideas for the piece I hope to submit. It's gotten me really excited about this whole competition! :3 I told my ideas to my sis, and she definitely thought it was good. (Just so you know, my sis is notoriously blunt about my work. If she doesn't like it, she'll say it. Period.)

Will probably start typing it all out after the last Prelim paper (which is Bio, the unfairness of it all. u.u), as the deadline for all submitted entries is 30 Aug. Good thing I basically have all the details, characters, conclusion etcetcetc all mapped out in my head. I love my mind. ;D

2008-07-28T17:45:00.004+08:00

I did some self-reflection on the way back home from school today. And I thought about certain things that happened to me recently; certain events that were nostagic, memorable, difficult to comprehend, or just make you go "Why did it turn out this way...?"

I remember when Haz once said she wanted to change for the better, to be a "nicer" person. What she meant was that she was going to consider others' feelings more, and stop swearing so often. (The latter hasn't really happened, but strangely, I hope it never does! A Haz who doesn't curse at least once a day seems alien to me! ;D In a good way, I mean.) Then I thought about some of my actions these past few days, and I really, really, didn't like it at all! O:

If you feel sad about something, go and make it into something happy! It's already over, done with, in the past, so why brood over it? You'll never get anything fruitful or meaningful that way, so take things on a more positive note! Avoiding things, being so fearful or hesitant, will be your downfall! Face what bothers you head on; even better if it's with a sweet, pleasant smile!

That's what I came up with while listening to Por Una Cabeza on my Mp3 while taking the train. Tango music can be really inspiring I guess :3

But my point is, I'm going to stop being such a coward to my one weakness which makes me stop in my tracks (not talking about Math. Hah!) and start something new and beautiful out of it. At least, I can try. It's downheartening that I didn't realise this earlier, but it's certainly better than never, because if I never convince myself of this, regret would always follow me around like a mild chronic irritant on the fringe of my existance. (Recognise this quote, fellow classmates? XD)

And so, I want to say: Sorry for being such a weak-willed little girl. I want to fight for what I want.

And...my feelings haven't changed a bit!

2008-07-27T10:38:00.007+08:00

♫♪♥ Songwaves ♥♪♫ a.k.a. the choir concert was yesterday~! ((:

Where to begin... well, I went there with Clare (who's dressed in all black :3) but we arrived a little too early so we hung around the bus stop to wait for Geelyn, Janice (with her boyfriend ;D) and (surprise, surprise) Shao Hua. Poor Shao Hua; he was the only boy from our class who attended. D:

Geel & Jan looked sooo lovely~~! I could just marry them on the spot XD And despite my tall heels, I was still shorter than them u.u GAH. Well, I manage to see a few of my juniors, who looked really adorable, and when we arrived outside the auditorium, we whipped out our cameras for some ~~camwhoring~~ photo-taking! (By the way, for photos of yestersay, let me direct you to either Geel or Jan's blogs, since my dad always take like forever to transfer photos from his digi-cam to the computer.) Did I mention how I really like Nanyang High's architecture? It's simply lovely!

When the doors to the auditorium opened for guests to enter, there was so much crowding at the entrance that in the end, you could just go in without showing your ticket to the persons at the door at all! O: Anyway, we managed to secure seats that appeared to be right smack in the middle of the auditorium. (Oh, and I loved the auditorium. It's pretty~ :3)

The concert officially started when the two emcees for the night, Yu Shang & Hazel, came forward to, erm, emcee XD Hazel was fine, but Shang sounded... awkward. Her usually chirpy voice sounded uncharacteristically low on microphone. O: And I'm not too crazy about scripts being used instead of cue cards; it's just not as professional. But then again, you can hardly blame them since I heard from Clare that they only got their emcee scripts earlier that day.

When the curtains were drawn, Clare & I immediately started pointing out the people we recognised, like Haze, Shang, Eleanor, Zheng Yang, Melvyn etc... The program for the concert was first, ten ~~unexciting~~ songs, then an intermission, followed by a song by the choir alumni, comprising of Amanda, Jia Xuan, Dexter, Amirul (who didn't tell me he would be there, which I could've used to convince Haz to go) & Wen Pu, who in my honest opinion, was like a door post there, pardon my bluntness. Then it was the trio of choir boys, who I guess was rather alright, save for one of the guys who sounded...not as nice as the other two.

Finally, the highlight of the night: the Hairspray medley~! Everyone looked sooo cute in their changed outfits! :3 Well, actually, the boys didn't look as decorated as the girls did. A little dull, in my opinion. :/ I thought Fredrika was such a natural out there; she captured my attention most during that segment. (:

So overall, it was a pretty good concert. ^^b

After lots of hugging, photo taking, and saying our hellos & goodbyes, Clare, Amirul & I set off for our bus ride home! We originally planned to go home with Amanda, but we...lost her among the crowds along the way. ;D

~~~~~~

Oh my goodness, Turandot by Puccini is going to be performed at the Esplanade from 29 Aug to 1 Sept! *faints* That's after my Prelims, but it's like nearly an impossibility for me to go and see it. ;___;

Turandot is an opera about an icy Chinese princess who refuses to marry any man unless he can answer three riddles. It'll be in Italian with English and Chinese subtitles. [taken from today's newspaper]

2008-07-23T17:31:00.004+08:00

I never thought I'd find a subject that I dislike more than A Maths. Unbelievable, but true. To think it's a Humanities subject even. u.u

Not Literature (LIT IS LOVE~~~).

Not Social Studies (I'm doing rather well in it. :D).

It's Econs. I absolutely, positively can't stand the subject! I've already convinced myself that I'll only choose to take that subject in JC if I really am desperate ~~or psycho~~ enough. My dislike has nothing to do with the teacher, but simply the subject itself and all the concepts involved.

Anyway, despite my pleas and ~~and grovelling XD~~, I can't get Haz to go to the concert. But...I guess I really am empathetic as to why she wouldn't go.

Oh, and today, Mrs Wong gave me an entry form to a writing competition where the Top 3 winners get to win CASH of more than $100 as prizes. The 1st Prize Winner gets $1000~! O: Not to mention that top entries would be published in a book. All we have to do is write a creative short story of not more than 5000 words. The hard part?

THE GENRE IS ROMANCE.

2008-07-15T18:28:00.007+08:00

I've enlisted Xi Ying's help in coaxing Hazrina to attend the concert. Not only that, Janice & I are sponsoring a bit for a concert ticket for Geelyn [who claims she's broke. Lol.] (:

Now that I think about it, Geelyn's right about one thing. I'm going to sound like an airhead, but I'm just gonna say it...

.....

....

...

I'VE NOTHING TO WEAR FOR THE CONCERT. O:

Time to go shopping.

P.S. I still have this ridiculous cough!

P.P.S. And yeah, I did catch Hellboy II. Love it to bits. ^^b

P.P.P.S. (Last one, I swear.) Mrs Wong said to me today that my latest essay on the one-word topic "Dreams" was so depressing. I can't help but be amused. She asked me what my inspiration was, to which I replied, "I've been reading Catherine Lim."

2008-07-12T19:19:00.004+08:00

It's official: My dad booked us air tickets to Melbourne & Sydney for a holiday on Nov 25 - Dec 10(?) :DDD Finally, some fabulous piece of news during this Black July, the month of dreams dashed, love lost, and morale being trampled on. So to speak.

I think I may be coming down with a fever. My head throbs, my nose is runny, and I still have this ~~bloody~~ cough since Thurs! DDD: Not to mention that my temperature this morning was 37.7 degrees Celsius. But I hope I won't get sick on Monday; the Hwa Chong Humanities Seminar is on that day! O:

Anyway, I'm also hoping to catch Hellboy II tomorrow afternoon. With or without anybody watching with me. u.u

2008-07-08T17:45:00.004+08:00

Move over Cadbury, because I'm now into Hersheys Cookies & Cream flavoured chocolate bar now. Why am I eating chocolate at a time like this? Yes, partly because I still feel "dead inside" (it's an inside joke my sis & I share. Heh.) and also because I was hungry. Why was I hungry? Mainly because I spent the rest of my recess in class after a... mortifying incident in the canteen :x (And also because I wanted one last look at my Chem SPA notes.)

I only slept like about 3 hours last night (a new record! Previously, it was 4 hours x.x) because I stayed up late to immerse myself in homework that wasn't even urgently dued yet. Plus, I rewatched all of Mao's previous programs, all for the sake of I'm dreading school tomorrow so I need a distraction, which in this case, was school today.

But I found the best distraction yesterday was making dinner with my ears plugged on to my Mp3, listening to nothing but blasting Jpop and classical music. Hardly a thought went on my mind during that hour-long session (except when I was pondering on which vegetable to use for dinner...) And one thing's for sure, I'm definitely looking forward to Econs class tmr. For my own personal reasons.

If I wanted a different topic now, I'd say that I'm still trying to ~~plead~~ coax Haz into attending our school's choir concert with me. What fun would it be if I didn't have enjoyable company? Nothing I say is working now, but I think I got her to consider, so it's some progress.

2008-07-07T15:41:00.002+08:00

I've never posted more than two posts per day, but it seems to me that blogging can be comforting therapy. SO'S LISTENING TO CLASSICAL MUSIC IN BLASTING VOLUME.

Which is what I'm doing now.

2008-07-07T13:01:00.002+08:00

It must have been a sign, an omen. Why she got it instead of me. I mean, after what happened, I thought about it, and I realise that I don't want that dream fulfilled anymore. This must be Destiny's way of saying, "Your dream was given to someone else to protect you from further harm." And I get it now. I understand. So yeah, I've moved on from that. Offically.

But now I have to move on from something else. There's no anger, no resentment, no scorn... Just emptiness. Have you ever felt empty before? Now I am. I don't know what to think, how to react, what the proper words to say are.

The white teddy bear just mocks me in its silence. But it's like its saying, "I told you so. You should've seen it coming."

~~And I did foresee it.~~

2008-07-07T12:12:00.003+08:00

Today marks a new change in my life. And it's such a draining change.

It lasted for 424 days.

2008-07-05T22:59:00.007+08:00

Random girly gushings. Don't read if you don't want to.

Thanks to Haz, yesterday I bought the prettiest shoes for prom. :DDDD It all happened when I went to this year's Cosfest with Haz, where we met up with ~~"Little Sis"~~ Shang and Amirul, and I spied a girl wearing such pweety little heels (yes, I notice such details). I pointed it out to Haz, who said that she knew where to get them! O:

So on the way back from Downtown East, we dropped by Paya Lebar, where we visited the shop in which said shoes were being sold. I was destined to get those shoes, I tell you, for it was the only pair left in that specific colour that I wanted, and it fit me JUST RIGHT! :DD If that doesn't scream Destiny all over, just call me plain lucky. ;D

While I would've liked the heels to be slightly higher, I still adore them. Hee. (:

SO THANK YOU ~~"MOMMY"~~ HAZ! *hugs* :DDD

P.S. I'll explain all the "family" references some other time. :3

2008-07-03T21:21:00.003+08:00

It's hard not to be envious of her when she's received not one, but two of the things I've been longing for. Still, I realised I've been childish and immature with all the silent moping and sulking that I've done over this, and so I decided to pull myself together and give my friend the support she deserves.

....

...

...Haz is right. I AM "just sitting there and stabbing myself again and again" (those are nearly her exact words, if I recall correctly). u.u I guess what she means is that I am masochistic in a way, in which I 'suffer in silence' and don't do anything about it.

WAITWAITWAIT. This isn't helping me "get over" it at all. Topic change QUICK!

~~~~~~~

Well, thank you Hazel for getting me selected to attend the Hwa Chong Humanities Seminar ((: It'll be held on Monday, 14 July. The BEST thing is that I get to leave school early, which equals to missing A Maths, HMT AND time practice XD Anyway, apparently it was informed to the Full Lit students, and thus me being an Elective Lit student, wouldn't have had known about if not for my ~~"daddy"~~ GOOD friend Haze :3 Seriously, sometimes I think Full Lit students get all the fun. u.u

About my other problem (which has nothing to do with the person who is living my dream, just so you know), Sis gave me one 'advice': Pain cancels out pain. Which means that I should bring grief to the one who gave ME grief; it's supposed to make me feel better. She got it from a Catherine Lim story, which is besides the point. Of course, not that I will take her great advice. u.u Sounds too evil, even for me.

2008-06-29T15:59:00.001+08:00

~~As of yesterday, I only have grandmothers left now.~~

Okay, too depressing a topic. As if I needed anymore bitter sadness in my life *coughs*see previous post*coughs* u.u

So on to more positive news!

Hazrina & I were asked by Mr Sazali to participate in the Hwa Chong Model ASEAN Summit, along with some Sec 3 Asean scholars as well! It'd be held on 11-12 August, and according to Mr Sazali, we get to miss school on those two days. I don't know whether to be happy or sad over that piece of news. Happy because...well, isn't it obvious? ;D Sad because I do like school, and well, prelims are nearing. =/

The Model ASEAN Summit really reminds me of the Model United Nations [RMUN] I took part in last year. While Haz remains anxious over it no matter how hard I try to reassure her, I find myself quite eager about it, and I'm looking forward to it. It certainly looks like a very interesting experience. ((:

P.S. Yes, still in my Mourning Period. I'll probably get over it after July.

2008-06-26T16:22:00.004+08:00

It's nearly the end of the first week of school after the June hols, and well, it's not that bad. I'm particularly delighted at tomorrow's subjects: MT, Biology, CME & English! NICE subjects ;DDD

And on to the not so nice part. Do you know how it feels when something you want very very much just happened to be given to someone else? ;___; I've spent nearly a few months dreaming of it, eagerly hoping that I'd get it in the end, and then just today, I found that it was given to my friend.

Not that I blame her of course. It was certainly not her fault (though I do feel like murdering the person who decided to give it to her u.u). I'm going to slip into what I call my Mourning / Moping Period (which can last as short as a few days to as long as half a year), where I'm going to sulk and mope about this unfortunate turn of events. But of course, not to be a wet blanket, I definitely won't show such a sour face at school or vent my anguish over this to anyone; perhaps you'd even think that I was over it when you see me in school, but just know that this "loss" of mine is eating at my heart even as I type this. )):

Like I said, I'm not mad at my friend at all. It's not like she asked for this, and I didn't exactly ask the person for it instead. I was just hoping that the person would decide to give that to me, and that would be such a thrilling piece of news if it did happen.

But like many other things I either didn't get, or worse, lost, I'm going to mourn over this issue. D:

2008-06-20T17:31:00.007+08:00

From my sister's blog. I actually did it in my previous blog a long time ago but I needed a good laugh so I decided to do it again ;D Hmm, turns out Melvyn did it too.

List 20 people you can think of now :
1. Sabrina
2. Geelyn
3. Hazrina
4. Hazel
5. Amirul
6. Benjamin
7. Xi Ying
8. Agnes (Wait, why did I think of her? o.O)
9. Melvyn
10. Mrs Wong (Why did I think of her too??)
11. Mao Asada
12. Janice
13. Yu Shang
14. Clare
15. Amanda
16. Jia Xuan
17. Kim Yu-Na
18. Demas
19. Shu Ying
20. Carolina Kostner

How did you meet 14? [Clare]
If I remembered correctly, it was her Fruits Basket manga that brought us together. Or did that happened with Haz? ._.

What will you do if you never met 1? [Sabrina, my sis]
I'd probably be broke now.

What if 9 and 20 dated? [Melvyn & Carolina Kostner]
Impossible. Melvyn wouldn't even go ice skating! D:

Will 6 and 17 date? [Benjamin & Kim Yu-Na]
Possibly. I'm sure Benjamin likes Korea, and he might like dating a famous sports star. ;D

Describe 3. [Hazrina]
Eccentric, exciting, with wild ideas. XD

When is the last time you spoke to 13? [Yu Shang]
Face-to-face, then it would be the last day of ISP. But we chatted on msn like last week I think?

What is 2's favourite singer or band? [Geelyn]
Erm, the ones whose songs she has on her ipod? ^^;;

Would you ever date 4? [Hazel]
Sorry, Haze, my heart's taken ;D

Would you ever date 15? [Amanda]
Nope. For certain confidential reasons.

Is 19 single? [Shu Ying]
God, I hope so. LOLOLOL XDD

What is 10's last name? [Mrs Wong]
Gee, let me think... Wong? XD

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11? [Mao Asada]
We could be in the idol-worshipper relationship, me being the latter! :p

School of 8? [Agnes]
BPGHS. (Seriously, why did I think of her?)

Where does 12 live? [Janice]
Erm, CCK.

What is your favourite thing of 5? [Amirul]
His sense of humour, and how he listens to our bitchings. XD

Describe 16. [Jia Xuan]
What can I say, she's...really really nice. :3

When is the last time you've seen 18? [Demas]
ISP I guess...

Have you ever seen 7 naked? [Xi Ying]
No. ~~But I think she won't mind XD~~ Kidding kidding!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Random rant: Hormonal pills are evil. And I have to take them. <___<

Tegomass - Ai Ai Gasa PV

2008-06-19T13:09:00.001+08:00

This is a music video of the Japanese song Ai Ai Gasa by Jpop duo Tegomass (Ai Ai Gasa literally means "Love-Love Umbrella"). I just love this sweet song! In this video, Tegomass are creating rain to force a young boy and girl to walk under an umbrella together. Sharing an umbrella as a couple in Japan is considered a romantic expression. Awww.... (:

Anyway, it's already the last week of the June holidays. Time sure flies when you're having fun ;___; At least I'm looking forward to a few things in July. ~~But not August D:~~

2008-06-12T10:56:00.004+08:00

I know, I just blogged yesterday, but I know that I won't have time or be in the mood to blog as much when school reopens, so might as well do so now when I DO have the time/ or am in the mood. :)

Firstly, HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN! Happy birthday to one of my ~~very~~ few guy best friends who graced my teenage life. :p Let's see...what can I say about Ben? He was one of those who added zest to my fencing life when I had to ~~drag myself~~ attend CCA. And yeah, he's hilarious! ;DD

Oh yeah, last week (5/6) was Liyana's 16th birthday, but I forgot to mention it. Well, Liyana's the FIRST friend I made in BPGHS, so she definitely has a place of honour in my heart. (:

~~~~~~~~

GAH. I should be revising more, but I'm not meeting up to my own expectations. D: Darn holiday mood.

At least I'm getting tons of sleep now. u.u

P.S. Am I the only one willing to spend $88 on a dress? ._.

2008-06-11T13:07:00.005+08:00

01. What’s the connection between you and the last person that called you?
I think we're sisters. ._. (seriously, I can't remember who last called me)

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Almost never. I'm not patient enough to wait for it to load when I switch it on.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
I was watching Snow White.

04. When did you last cry?
The last time I was feeling melancholic.

05. What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Erm, bread. u.u

06. What do you want in your life right now?
$155 would be nice. And a clamshell.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
I seriously need a portable umbrella. ~~But a parasol would be nice too XD~~

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Pillows. Soft ones.

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
School shorts. No, really. >.>

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
*looks through inbox* That's hard! I have quite few actually. (: Kudos to Haz, Geel and Sis.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
Depends on how you define "complicated".

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Nope.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
Prince Caspian! :DDD

14. What are you proud of?
How Sis says I cook better than Mum. XD And erm, see previous blog post. ;D

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
It was a Happy Birthday message from Benjamin. From 2007. ;D

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Regret by Mai Hoshimura.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Perhaps there are those said behind my back.

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
"Well, e postman usually makes his rounds here ard 9.. Anyways, my intuition says that we're not getting them today.. Not to jinx it or anything >.>" from Haz.

19. What time did you do to bed last night?
Around 9.30pm.

20.Are you currently happy?
So-so. I've had better moments.

21. Who gives you best advice?
Erm....

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
I don't really like it. >.>

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
I don't remember @.@

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yes, but not so much.

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
I watched Avatar on Nicklodean last night. Now THAT made me laugh.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
No.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Some unknown number.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
u.u

29. What annoys you most in a person?
When they never reply. Like, really, that shows how much I'm worth. u.u

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Yes.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
And die early for it? No.

32. What is the colour of your room?
White walls, weird patterned floor tiles.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
Let me consider about this...

34. Do you believe in the saying ‘talk is cheap’?
Actions speak louder than words.

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
Me. Other than me, my sister.

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
Sis!

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
I guess. Since the last person I last kissed lives with me, and we share a bedroom ;D

38. Do you have a life?
Doesn't look like much.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn’t?
No. I always think that they didn't die, but they did. =/

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
No music here.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
A lady whose face I can't recall. Maybe it was my mum.

42. Last time you smiled?
Just now.

43. Have you changed this year?
Yes. I'm less sympathetic apparently D:

44. What are you listening right now?
Chopin's Fantaisie-Impromptu.

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Nope.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Open.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Anyone who thinks that figure skating is not a sport is invited to walk across an ice rink & jump up and down. - Simon Barnes (Seriously, I love this quote! XD)

48. Do you want someone you can’t have?
Probably.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Not very well.

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in a week?
Eating hamburger patties WITHOUT the hamburger bread. ><

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
Snoozing.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
u.u

53. What song best describe your love life?
Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky. It's instrumental, meaning that no words can really express my love life.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
~~Well, he should.~~

55. Who always make you laugh?
My sister. Haz. Haze. Ellen Degeneres (yes, I watch her show XD).

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Malay.

57. Favourite website?
Youtube.

58. What's your middle name?
Technically, it should be Sarah, since my chinese name comes first according to my birth cert. Lols.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to Jurong East. But not to ice skate D:

60. What do you think you are like?
Like... a girl.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
I don't think two people can fit in one single coffin.

62. Where have you been today?
Home.

63. What game do you play often?
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games (NDS game).

64. Who are you missing right now?
A few people.

65. If you’ve to choose between friend & loves, who will you choose?
If I only have to pick one then I choose death. u.u People should be able to make more choices.

66. What are you doing right now?
This thingie.

67. Which primary school are you from?
Ahmad Ibrahim Primary School. Never heard of it? Can't blame ya there XD

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
Pastel pink, azure, lavender?

69. What emotion you like to show?
Neutral. Okay, okay, happy.

70. What is your life to you?
It's...not fulfilling. YET.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Think about it. And then sigh.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
No one. My msn is lonely :p

73. Who do you admire most?
Mao Asada! And lately, Yu-Na Kim too (but just a little).

74. Which month are you born in?
February. Month of Valentines. And CNY (unless it's on Jan).

75. How are you feeling right now?
Neutral.

76. What is the time now?
12.58pm, as I am typing this.

77. Where are you now?
In front of computer. Home.

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
None.

79. Why are you doing this test?
Because boredom told me to.

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
Bitch about things. Haz would know XD

81. At which age you wish to get married?
No age.

82. Who is more important to you? Love partner or friends?
If my partner is my friend too, that's a bonus.

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Not exactly.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
The person I tell everything to. The person I would hand a gun to, and know that I wouldn't get shot.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
Yeah, mostly.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
That I finally have a career in forensics. And Haz is my fellow coroner.

87. What is your goal for this year?
Two words: O Levels.

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Only in ideal situations.

89. What feeling do you love most?
The usual stuff: happiness, thrill, being loved.

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
Congratulations, you have just won the prize for being obvious.

91. What feeling you hate the most?
Scorn.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
If I didn't, it wouldn't BE a friendship.

93. Do you believe in god?
Yes.

94. Who cares for you most?
Parents I guess. ~~They need to express that better though.~~

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
People who have the "privilege" of being loved by me ;D

96. What will you bring when you fight?
A sharp tongue. For verbal clashes of course. ~~But a foil would be nice too, if you get what I mean, Geel ;D~~

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
Something BIG, I tell you.

98. What would you feel when people no longer cares for you?
~~I think I saw this coming.~~

99. What "talents" do you posses?
Just...in the English subject I guess. Bummer. DD:

100.What do you want now?
Lunch.

2008-06-09T17:38:00.006+08:00

The other day I was actually looking through BPGHS's school website and I saw that I'M ACTUALLY MENTIONED THERE! :DDD

Pardon my act of narcissism. Hey, can't someone just be proud of her achievement? :p

~~~~~~~~

Holiday homework left: HMT worksheets.

This has got to be one of the dullest June hols I've ever had. D: Still, I'm looking forward to my family chalet this Friday till next Monday~

2008-06-05T08:10:00.003+08:00

On Monday, my sister and I had a little date at the Golden Village cinema. Purpose of date? WATCHING NARNIA! :DDDD It was just so darn AWESOME. Like I expected, it was waaay better than the first one.

I tried to imagine how it would've been like if my school had decided to watch it instead of ~~an old archaeologist with a hat & whip~~ Indiana Jones. Well, I'm sure they would've been awed and enjoyed all of the kickass battle scenes, and laughed at the witty lines. But I'm not sure how they'd react to the *ahem, TINY SPOILER AHEAD* kiss scene at the end. XDDD

BUT IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD!!! I'm elated I picked it over Indiana; no offense to all those who went and watch the latter. I just couldn't wait till Friday to watch Narnia, so my sis & I changed it to Monday (nothing to do with the fact that the Sec 4s went to watch Indiana on that same day. Okay, maybe it had a little to do with it ;DD). See how psyched I was over it? XD

I'd give Narnia a 4/5 rating (still thinking of whether to give it a 4.5 :p). To me, a good novel-based movie should be able to tell the story without non-readers of the book getting lost over the plot. I don't read Narnia but I definitely understood everything that was going on. :D

The next movie is dued at 2010!

~~~~~

WARNING: Only highlight to read if you can stand girly gushings. Trust me, if you're guy and you think you'd get bored reading whatever girly things I have to squeal and gush about, DON'T read. u.u But if you're okay with it, read on! ;D

I just saw the prettiest dress ever to wear for prom! :D Okay, not really the prettiest, but it WAS really pretty, IMO. It was all thanks to Haz, actually; she was showing me a picture of the dress she was considering to get for prom, and so I went to look at the other dresses available, and I fell in love with a particular one! AWWWW I WANT IT! :DDDD

Of course, I was mindful of whether it'd stand out too much during prom so I went to ask a GUY to see what he thought. Who better to ask but Amirul, who already went to his prom ;D And I was so surprised when he actually commented that the dress was "pretty"! O: I've never had a guy call a dress "pretty" before, without any girl wearing it. Hee. That finally convinced me to get it.

Of course, I made Haz pledge that she'd wear her dress if I decided to wear mine, so I won't be the only one XDDD

Did I mention how pretty the dress was? ^^v LOLOLOL.

2008-06-02T17:52:00.002+08:00

Today marks the day of two fabulous events.

ISP ends today.

And tonight I'm going to watch Narnia!!! :DDDD

Yup, today rocks. Such a rare thing to say. (Hah!)

P.S. I'm glad to hear that my junior Pratyusha carried on the tradition in RMUN: BPGHS always wins something for Press Corps. ;D

2008-05-27T16:22:00.002+08:00

I'd just like to describe one of the worst experiences of my life that happened today. And no, it has nothing to do with it being the first day of ISP.

It all started when I woke up for school. I was feeling surprisingly...weird. To be more specific, my stomach felt weird. Such a strange sensation; I felt like I was starving, but also like my stomach was being sucked out clean with a vacuum cleaner. =x

And so, what would one naturally do to appease a hungry stomach? I went to have my breakfast of course. But, even food made my stomach queasy. Like it didn't want to accept any nutrients for the start of the day. Even though I felt like it was during the fasting month and my tummy was empty, I had no appetite and I felt just nauseous at the thought of shoving food into my mouth. I had to force myself to chew and swallow my breakfast, seeing as I won't last half the day if I didn't.

God, did I feel like throwing up every single bit of food that went down my gullet. I had to force myself not to vomit out all the food I had just eaten, for my rebellious stomach seem to be rejecting the food. And even after breakfast, I felt no better.

This stupid queasiness in my stomach lasted all the way till I got to school, and I thought I might die by the end of Bio (the first period); it was draining me. That reminds me, when I had to assemble at the basketball court, I made the mistake of walking past the food stalls, and the smell of food was sickening to me. My stomach even gave an unpleasant lurch, threatening to spill out all the semi-digested contents I had for breakfast. Ew.

And you know what? I felt all better by the second period after I had a set of hiccups. ;D Can you believe it?

Other than that, school was fine. Though the A Maths mock exam was utterly worth detesting.

2008-05-22T18:23:00.004+08:00

Attending a Parent-Teacher Conference is hardly something we enjoy, unless you're like a model student with straight As and whom everyone loves.

But because I'm not ~~a Mary Sue~~ one of those such students, and add in the fact that I have a beautiful F9 on my report slip, I did not enjoy the Meet the Parents Session. Much.

Still, I was rather pleased when Mrs Wong said that I "write very well". :DDD That's like one of the best things a teacher has ever said about me! Yes, I know, a few of my previous teachers did comment something similar before, but not straight to my face. Hee. XD (Though Mrs Wong, I think you mistook me for Geelyn; I do not bring down my storybooks to the assembly ground to read.)

There. That's all I can say about the MTP session.

~~~~~~~~

Don't you just hate it when your strengths and your interest lie in different, contrasting areas? Say, I'm very good at something, but I'm not interested in that as a future career. Instead, I'm interested in something else, but I'm average in it, and I might not even succeed in it for all we know.

That just...sucks. D:

Excuse the short paragraphs for this post. Anyway, I'm in the process of changing the blogskin. Might take a while though; need to request for a few readjustments.

For those of you who ARE interested in my life, here's a quick update: XD

I've already decided on a timetable for revision during the June hols. I'll be occupied from 8am to 2.30pm (recognise the timing? Lols.) with my books, files and notes. What joy.
I've decided that 6 June, Fri, would be the day I'd go watch Prince Caspian! :D
Hazrina makes a good mentor! And I don't mean in the area of studies. ;D
I...actually miss fencing. A little. =/

2008-05-13T16:41:00.002+08:00

HIGHER MALAY Common Test II result: Up from a C6 to a B4! :D

Overall, my L1R5 from last CTs to this CTs improved by 8 points! Still, it's not even close to the desired L1R5 I'm aiming for Os. Well, I'm definitely preparing for one major honeymoon with my textbooks, files and revision notes during the upcoming June hols. Before that, I must tearfully bid farewell to my DS and perhaps this computer as well. No worries about my handphone being a distraction; it's been almost silent for a month now, save for the recent smses from my sister.

And my emotional turmoil seems to be behind me now. It hardly affects me now that I've begun to accept the OBVIOUS fact and move on.

Actually, the only thing I'm looking forward to during the June hols is the Narnia movie outing with my sis. Thank you Mum for the free movie vouchers! ;D

2008-05-12T16:00:00.004+08:00

It's nearly mid-May but this is just the first post of May. Oh well. I've been busy READING.

And now the almighty news: COMMON TESTS RESULTS.

ENGLISH: Pfft. Anything less than an A1 is a failure, I tell you. I definitely want to choke myself for writing an ~~effing~~ report instead of a letter. It's like the time when Mao Asada made just ONE little mistake at her short program but that cost her the gold medal at the 2007 World Championships. I know I could've gotten a better grade than what I got. And I'm not revealing what it is. It's simply horrendous.
CHEMISTRY: What can I say? It's an improvement from a D7 to a B3! :DDDD
BIOLOGY: I'm glad that I'm consistent in Bio. That earned me an A1, like last time. :D
SOCIAL STUDIES: What a shocker, Definitely didn't expect to get this high. Rashidah should be proud. XD Up from an A2 to an A1! :DDD
LITERATURE: Maybe it's to make up for my failure in English. But getting the highest mark in class is reeeaaallly sweet. :D A1.
E MATHS: Another shocker, but a bigger one. I actually passed! Up from an E8 to a C5 (though I could've gotten better if I had finished it, mind you). Hey, it's still an improvement! :DDD
A MATHS: Hey, all I can say is I'm REAL glad I managed to get a 2-digit mark this time. ;D ~~But yeah, still a fail.~~
ECONOMICS: D7. DD: Not a huge shocker actually. ~~This is what I get without Jesmine for 5 months.~~
HIGHER MALAY: Have yet to receive. But I'm pretty sure I passed. The worst I can get is a C. Oh well.

I'm especially glad about my grades for Chem and E Math. Now that I'm eyeing a career in forensics, you can say I'm working hard at both my Chem & Bio. And while some of you are scoring god knows how high in E Maths, even a pass in that subject shows that I'm improving. Even a small improvement is better than no improvement, yeah? (:

I thought I had gotten over my failure in English, but I guess I'm still moping over it.

2008-04-30T21:29:00.004+08:00

Okay. I don't really have a favourite author even though I've read oh so many books in my life, BUT NOW I DO. :D

Trudi Canavan. She is just awesome. I adore her. ;D

I once blogged about one of her books, entitled Voice of the Gods, the thrilling last book of her Age of the Five trilogy. Well, I was curious as to how her other series, the Black Magician trilogy, was like, and so I bought the first book, titled The Magicians' Guild. God, I LOVED IT. :DD (And after Jiale lent me the third and final book, I love her too XD)

And Jiale, if you're reading this, get excited as Trudi plans to release a prequel and sequels to the trilogy. :D

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm currently watching a new anime titled Neo Angelique Abyss, which is aired every Wednesday on Arts Central. I'm on to the 4th episode now, and I find the plot horribly cliched, but fairly bearable; I certainly hope that it'd get more interesting later on. For now, I'm only watching it for the great opening and ending themes and the lovely art style.

I blogged about these becauese I was bored. I'm rather bored these days at home with Common Tests now. At least I have tomorrow and Friday off from school. (:

2008-04-26T16:52:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to a lot of classical songs lately. Mostly because sometimes I just find them much more beautiful and soothing than my usual daily dose of J-pop :p I also realised that I used to know a lot about the latest English songs, but now I find myself quite clueless, seeing as I don't listen to English radio stations anymore. Heh. That's a nice change for once.

Common Tests are next week and I find myself dreading them, as always. For English, it'd be Situational Writing, and that might pose a bit of a problem for me, depending on the genre. Like, for example, I find writing a letter easier than writing a report. Though there isn't much difference is there? I'm also very concerned about my Econs. Without Jesmine teaching, I'm not as confident and reassured in my ability to do well for Econs as last year.

I'm especially quite determined to get good grades for my Sciences, even more than I am for my Humanities. It's all for my (hopefully) future career in Forensics. ;D Wouldn't it be absolutely thrilling if Haz became a coroner while I a forensic scientist? :D Hmmm, seeing as my sister wants to be a psychologist, I should coax her to study criminal psychology then. What a very interesting future that would be XD

2008-04-19T18:05:00.009+08:00

Yesterday was my English Oral exam (didn't have to take Malay oral. ^^v). As usual, I liked the Conversation part, but I thought that my Reading this year was a little too fast =/ And I didn't like the Picture Discussion either, as there was not much to say about the picutre given. Still, I think Mdm Marina (who tested me) thought I did a pretty good job seeing as she was smiling and nodding throughtout the entire thing. Unless she does that to every student she tested. Oh well.

~~~~

I don't remember how I came across this, but I'll do it anyway.

Instruction: Make a minimum of three Top 10 Lists of anything at all in particular! E.g. Top 10 Favourite Food, Top 10 Worst Songs, etc.....

Note: The numbered positions are in NO PARTICULAR ORDER. Thus No 1 does not mean the best, No 2 does not mean 2nd best, and so on...

TOP 10 PEOPLE WHO HOLD HIGH POSITIONS IN MY HEART

Sabrina Lee
Geelyn Ng
Melvyn Chua
Hazel Heng
Hazrina Bte Kassim
Janice Pang
Hong Xi Ying
Lim Xue Yun
Elvina Susanto Ngo
Mao Asada

TOP 10 SONGS THAT WILL STAY IN MY MP3 FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME
(note: English, Instrumental, Japanese)

Fantasy for Violin & Orchestra performed by Joshua Bell
Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett
Antoinette Blue by Nana Kitade
Doubt & Trust by access
Boogie Wonderland performed by Brittany Murphy, from Happy Feet soundtrack
Waltz of the Flowers composed by Tchaikovsky, from The Nutcracker
Romeo & Juliet love theme composed by Nino Rato
Gekidou by UVERworld
Regret by Mai Hoshimura
Born to Try by Delta Goodrem

TOP 10 BEST-WRITTEN BOOKS I'VE READ THAT ISN'T HARRY POTTER
(note: includes manga.)

The Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray
Eldest by Christopher Paolini
D.Gray-Man by Hoshino Katsura
The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce
Voice of the Gods by Trudi Canavan
Parfum Extrait 0 by Kaori Yuki
Ludwig Kakumei by Kaori Yuki
Last of the Wilds by Trudi Canavan
The Safe-Keeper's Secret by Sharon Shinn
Sirena by Donna Jo Napoli

TOP 10 BEST MOMENTS IN MY LIFE SO FAR (WHICH ISN'T MUCH SEEING AS I AM JUST 16)

The time when I emceed Romance of the Cyprinus Carpio with Benjamin. Talk aboout heart-stopping!
May 9th, if I'm not wrong. For confidential reasons~
The time when I won the Best Article award during RMUN. That was so not what I had expected!
The time when I placed 10th overall during the 2008 Novices Fencing Championships. Not only was that my last competition but it was my best placing ever.
The first time I ice skated. :D
The time when I went to the Esplanade with Hazrina, Hazel, Amirul, Melvyn and Jia Xuan.
The time when I was overall 1st in class during Sec One. (And from Sec 2 onwards, it was all downhill for me... u.u)
My fifteenth birthday. :3
The day I got my PSLE certificate.
The time when my review was published on newspaper.

2008-04-16T18:23:00.004+08:00

Yes, it has been a week since I last posted. And I'd like to announce that I (along with the other Sec 4 fencers) have stepped down from our CCA! It's a rather strange feeling, to not have to attend fencing after school on the respective days, but it does feel kinda nice to be able to go home after time practice. It's like having one of my burdens lifted from my shoulders. Not that fencing is a burden of course. (:

I do miss my juniors though. When I stepped down, I felt like a parent watching her children grow up and leave to take control of their lives, to make an impression on the world that awaits them. Yeah, I'm being quite sentimental here. But that's because I'm very fond of my juniors, every one of them (okay, maybe not the Sec 1s. I don't know them well enough), no matter how annoying they can be at times. ;D Even the guys. Though I shamelessly admit I love the girls more. Haha.

Now, what else? Well, the graduating classes are offered a treat during the June hols, courtesy of the school, known as the End of Term Bash. It's actually a free movie, and I turned it down. That's right; I chose not to go for it while nearly every other Sec 4/5s will. And it's because I'm SO not interested in the movie selected. Pffft. I'm being a brat right now, but... *shrugs*

Not a very long post this time. I have a HMT & Macromolecules test tomorrow. That just sucks. D:

P.S. Here's a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Janice & Amirah. Their birthdays were on Mon & Tues respectively. ((:

P.P.S. I confess I've not been very...joyful these past few days. Call it permanent PMS or whatever, I think I hardly smiled since last Friday. D: But today, something utterly surprising yet wonderful happened. I'm feeling all better now! :D

2008-04-09T18:23:00.002+08:00

I have to admit; I should hate her, but I don't. I mean, I have plenty of reasons to put her on my hate list (okay okay, not plenty. Just one. And it's a petty reason too.), but strangely, I happen to be quite fond of her. She's just really nice, you know! >.<;;;

Instead of sending dagger eyes and dirty looks in her direction every time we meet, I find myself being friendly and polite as I do to almost everyone in school. It's hard to hate someone who's actually very sweet, believe me. It's not that I want to hate her; it's just that under these circumstances that I find myself in, it's sort of reasonable for me to hate her. Confused? Gah. This is my immature thinking anyway.

Geelyn, you'd know what I'm talking about. And perhaps Hazel would too.

2008-04-04T16:17:00.005+08:00

FENCING GIRLS ROCKED THIS WEEK! ^^v (For the inter-school championships, I mean.)

BPGHS managed to clinch 1 bronze & 1 silver for women's individual event. The girls also clinched 2 silvers in their respective divisions.

Congrats Geel! You managed to win something in your last year here. ^^ (Psst! Geel! Time to spite a certain someone perhaps? XD)

And we're actually stepping down soon. I'm feeling a mixture of sadness & relief. Well, I've also decided on my successor to take over my position as Secretary cum Treasurer. I had to think over it quite carefully, and picked the 3rd most relaible of the lot. (Because the 1st and 2nd most reliable will be the captain & vice-captain respectively.)

~~~~~

These days, I feel that I'm not good enough for a lot of things and people here.

I'm not good enough for my cca.

I'm not good enough for my dad.

I'm not good enough for the person I have affection for.

I'm not good enough for most of the things I want to be good enough in.

But yeah, I try to be optimistic and did what my sister AKA my "psychiatrist" told me. "Think & say out loud all the achievements you're proud of." Though not many, I did it. I felt a little better. Just a little. A wee bit little.

2008-04-01T17:36:00.002+08:00

I feel so giddy with happiness in school today. Hah. :DD

~~~~~~

PART I: 1st APRIL

That's today. Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL! :DDDD

Let's see...I can't really remember the circumstances as to how Hazel and I met, but I guess it has something to do with her being Chairwoman and me being Vice-Chairwoman of our respective classes during Sec 1. XD

To Hazel: Yes, you've turned 16 you seme. XDD Time to drag all of your ukes ('cept me. NEVER me. ;p) to a rated movie and do all sorts of god knows what. Heh. Anyway, thanks for helping me see things that I can't possibly see due to certain circumstances. You've been such a dear and a great help. (:

^-- This is to make up for my lack of a birthday gift. ><

Next, today's also April Fools Day. XD I've only managed to trick two people (Geelyn & Clare, my unfortunate victims ;p), though I confess that Herianti managed to trick me as well (that little imp XD). It's been...quite fun actually.

~~~~~~

PART II: PROM [cont.]

Woooo I'm so thrilled that Haz has finally succumbed to peer pressure, I mean, influence reconsidered and decided to attend prom with us! :D The more the merrier! ^^v

Haz, though I must seriously ask you to reconsider what you showed me in that offline message. But, I completely support your idea; just...pick something else okay? :3

~~~~~~

PART III: NAPFA [cont.]

This time, it's about my 2.4kn run, which was last Thurs, if I'm not wrong.

I AM ESPECIALLY ELATED & ESCTATIC & POSITIVELY THRILLED that I managed to improve my timing of 11.31 min (last year's timing) to 10.39 min. :DDDD I was aiming for under 11 minutes and I did! :DD

I am also still very amused that Wei Siong said he was "shocked" that I was only a second behind him. ;p Hey, girls can run too! ^^v

~~~~~~

PART IV: FENCING

This week will be the Inter-School Fencing Championships. Today was the girls' individual division and I must say I'm very happy with the results so far. Will post more about it after the entire competition is over. (:

~~~~~~

P.S. I am also SO glad with what Geel told me about this Friday's Sports Carnival. ;DD It's something I've really wanted and Geelyn is such a dear to mention it to me. ((:

2008-03-28T12:29:00.004+08:00

Am doing this to take my mind off certain things. From Geelyn's blog. (:

- HOW BARBIE ARE YOU? -

[ ] You own over 10 bottles of nailpolish
[ ] You own a designer purse
[ ] You own perfume that cost over $60
[ ] You had/have fake nails
[ ] You have more hair/body products than you can use
[ ] Your pet is a chihuahua/Pomeranian/Yorkshire/Terrier/Siamese/shih-tzu
[ ] You have clothes/shoes/accessories for your pet
[ ] You have enough clothes to cover an entire refugee camp.
[x] You have enough pictures to create your own wallpaper. (pictures of what exactly?)
[ ] A pink comforter, carpeting, walls or sheets.

Total: 1

DO YOU...

[ ] Spend more time at the mall than you do at home/work
[ ] Have a hair color that is not your natural color
[ ] Have "blonde moments" at least once a day
[ ] Buy stuff because it's awesome and then never wear it/use it
[x] Constantly keep your phone at your side
[ ] Dance around in your room when nobody else is home
[ ] Have a name for your car
[ ] Know what celebrity is dating who and who broke up this week
[ ] Refuse to go out in public without makeup
[ ] Prefer to be called "princess"

Total So Far: 2

DO YOU ADORE...

[ ] Make up
[x] Jewellery
[x] Mirrors
[ ] Chick flicks
[x] Shoes
[ ] Rainbows
[ ] Unicorns
[ ] Disney Movies
[ ] Candles
[x] Flowers
[x] Stuffed Animals
[ ] Purses

Total So Far: 7

DO YOU SHOP AT...

[ ] Coach
[ ] Forever 21
[ ] Victoria's Secret
[ ] Guess
[ ] Claire's
[ ] Express
[ ] Delias
[ ] MAC
[ ] Sephora
[ ] Bebe

Total So Far: 7

DO YOU SAY...

[x] Biatch
[x] Whatever
[x] Oh my gosh/god/goodness
[ ] Hun
[ ] Fugly
[ ] That's hot
[ ] Dunzo
[ ] Darlin'
[ ] Psh
[ ] Cutie
[ ] Hottie
[ ] Skank
[ ] Totally
[ ] For Sure
[ ] Fabulous

Total So Far: 10

DO YOU READ...

[ ] Cosmopolitan
[ ] Glamour
[ ] Marie Claire
[ ] Elle Girl
[ ] Teen Vogue
[ ] People
[ ] Us Weekly
[ ] Star
[ ] Self
[ ] PerezHilton.com
[ ] Dlisted.com
[ ] 17online.com
[ ] people.com
[ ] usmagazine.com
[ ] popsugar.com
[ ] livejournal.com/community/ohnotheydidnt
[ ] Pink Is The New Blog.com
[ ] cleo

Total So Far: 10

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE...

[x] Legally Blonde
[ ] Elizabethtown
[x] Mean Girls
[ ] Now & Then
[ ] The Notebook
[ ] A Walk to Remember
[ ] Sweet Home Alabama
[ ] Where the Heart is
[x] Just my luck
[ ] John Tucker Must Die
[ ] Centerstage
[x] Bring it On
[ ] How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
[ ] Mona Lisa Smile
[ ] My Girl

Total So Far: 14

ARE YOU ADDICTED TO...

[ ] LOST
[ ] America's Next Top Model
[x] Project Runway
[ ] Desperate Housewives
[ ] The Simple Life
[ ] 8th & Ocean
[ ] Sex & the City
[ ] Grey's Anatomy
[ ] The O.C.
[ ] Laguna Beach/The Hills
[ ] Nip/Tuck
[ ] Gilmore Girls

Total So Far: 15

MULTIPLY YOUR ANSWER BY 2 -
15 X 2 = 30

I am 30% BARBIE! (Less than Geelyn. Unbelievable.)

~~~~~~~

1. Song playing at the moment? Born to Try by Delta Goodrem.

2. Reasons for living? Because it'd be a sin to commit suicide. Oh, and because I wouldn't want to leave all the great people I know.

3. Do you think you're okay? Not at the moment.

4. Ever donated blood? I will when I am of legal age to do so.

5. Favorite colour(s)? Pink. Azure. White. Occasionally lavender.

6. Accessories you usually wear? Nil. I will, though, on CNY and Hari Raya.

7. One song to describe a heartbreak in the past? This has yet to be.

8. Last place you went to? School. I love school. More than home, anyway.

9. Last person you went out with? I can't recall.

10. The most exciting sport? Fencing. I was on edge during Xue Yun's and Elvina's match. (:

11. Ever had a baby? Are you kidding me?

12. Movies you want to watch? Prince Caspian and August Rush. <3

13. Any piercings? Only for earrings.

14. The most romantic gift? A vow of everlasting commitment and faithfulness. Not that it exists in real life. Well, maybe it does, but it's rare.

15. Act on stage before? Yes.

16. Struck by lightning before? No.

17. Danced with your loved ones before? Perhaps.

18. Ever wished you could turn back time? Most definitely.

19. What would you do if you woke up one day to find yourself to be with someone from the opposite sex? That someone is going to be dead soon.

20. One song that's meaningful to you? Kiss/Heartbreak Hotel duet performed by Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman.

21. Missing whoever now? Geelyn, Hazel, Haz, other people in school that I love.

22. What will you be doing tomorrow? Going for flag day.

23. Ever thought of robbing a bank? Like hell no.

24. One thing you totally regret doing/done? It's something personal.

25. Do people like you? Ask them.

26. What was the last game you played on the computer? I don't play anything in my computer. Just my NDS. (:

27. Someone who means a lot to you at the moment? So many people... (:

28. The colour of your bed? Erm, pink. ^^;;

29. Do you hate someone at the moment? Yeah. I've been hating this person for the past 8 years of my life.

30. What do you wish to happen now? To receive an sms. Or for someone to say something to me on msn.

31. Last time you ate pizza? I can't recall.

32. Ever been given a ring? Yes. Not from a boy though.

33. Do people think you're weird? Highly likely.

34. Movies now showing that you hate? Nothing.

35. Most important thing in your room? Quite a number of things inmy room are of grave importance to me.

36. Last movie watched? The Fountain. I didn't get the story much.

37. Last television show watched? Project Runway.

38. Who is the person you want to see right now? Geelyn.

39. Ever called a person useless? Don't think so.

40. Are you good at hiding your feelings? If I try hard enough, then yes.

~~~~~~~

ONE- what you wearing now: White tee and shorts.
TWO- where you going later: City Hall. Don't ask.
THREE- who you missing at the moment: A lot of people. Even someone I'm currently unhappy with.
FOUR- what you stress about this days: Sometimes my studies. Most of the time it's something else.
FIVE- who's the last person you chat with: Hazel. On msn. (:
SIX- what makes you happy when you're down: Cadbury.
SEVEN- do you wanna get into a r/s now: I like the answer Geelyn put for this.
EIGHT- have you got a crush on someone: ~~Have you got any sense at all?~~
NINE- ever have a near death experience: No.
TEN- what's the time now: Check the nearest clock.
ELEVEN- met anyone earlier on: ...my mum.
TWELVE- what did you do just now: Did online assignments.
THIRTEEN- what's your favourite show: D.Gray-Man and Project Runway.
FOURTEEN- what language do you speak: English, Malay, and very simple Chinese.
FIFTEEN- what you hate: If I were to list down everything that I hate, it'd be quite long.
SIXTEEN- do you like to watch MTV: No.
SEVENTEEN- what annoys you: When people don't reply. Be it sms, msn or whatever.
EIGHTEEN- where you living at: A flat in Yishun. Haze and Haz says it's big. o.O
NINETEEN- when did anyone last ask for your number: I can't recall.
TWENTY- what's your favourite pet: Kitty! Mrs Wong is so lucky. ;p
TWENTYONE- where's the place you wanna go now: The rink in Kallang.
TWENTYTWO- do you like sweet talks: Only if they mean it.
TWENTYTHREE- would you mind your girlfriend who's a gangster: YES.
TWENTYFOUR- would you mind your girlfriend's body's full of tattoo: o.O;;
TWENTYFIVE- what's your real name: Sarah Lee. I'm rather fond of it. XD
TWENTYSIX- what's your favourite month: Feb and Dec.
TWENTYSEVEN- have you ever been stung by a bee: Nope, but I know someone who has. ;p
TWENTYEIGHT- will you post bulletin as when you like: No.
TWENTYNINE- whose the last person you hug: Geelyn. Sort of.
THIRTY- whose the last person you said 'I Love You' to: I can't recall.

2008-03-28T09:44:00.004+08:00

No, I'm not playing truant. It's E-Learning Day. Heh.

I recall that around this time last year, I wrote a poem for no reason at all and one of my dear friends put in up in her blog. Note that I composed it last year, and it was about what was happening to me then. The last part of the poem was something that I felt might happen in the future, and turns out, it did happen. It's happening to me now. (And t's not a good thing.)

Remember when I said I was afraid of finding out something? Well, I'm pretty much sure I know what it is already. Though, I don't have any decisive evidence. But there are some things you just know by observing. Sometimes, one sees more than others give credit for.

I can't take all the credit for myself though. I confided in my good friend all the information that I have collected through my analysis and observations, and she concluded what I have already suspected. Her conclusion just reinforced what I felt was happening.

I know it already. All I want now is for the source itself to confirm with me.

I should be angry with what I know, but I'm not. I'm just sad.

2008-03-25T18:21:00.004+08:00

I can't believe I didn't realise it earlier. I was so wrapped up in my own misery and self-pity that I became blind to what is actually the truth. D:

But...what if I am mistaken? What if I 'realised' it wrongly? Like, what if this 'truth' isn't really true? Am I really mistaken? Am I wrong about it? Or am I correct about my assumption? Then again, I am only just assuming...

I don't know anymore. Things would be so much simpler if someone would just come up to me and tell me everything I want to know. But answers don't come so easily, do they? You have to find them yourself. To find answers, you have to go to the right source.

I am too much of a coward to go to that source. Maybe because I am afraid of what I would find out. Can I bear the disappointment if it's not what I want to hear?

*forlorn*

Strange that how I was so cheerful in my previous post today, and now I'm embroiled in my own inner conflict.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"There is never any turning back. You have to go forward. Make the future yours." - Kartik, The Sweet Far Thing

2008-03-25T17:04:00.012+08:00

For photos on the 4L1 excursion to the S'pore Botanical Gardens, view my GALLERY section on the left side of this blog. ((:

Decided to put all of them in Photobucket as it'd take a massive long time for me to upload them all here. u.u

~~~~~~~~~~~

Next week will certainly be a fabulous one. XDD Why? Come and take a look at my school schedule for next week:

MON: Attend guys' fencing competition = Miss lessons.
TUES: School as per normal.
WED: School as per normal.
THURS: Attend girls' team fencing competition = Miss lessons.
FRI: Sports Carnival. = No lessons (though sadly, I'll be taking part >.>;;)

See why I'll love next week? ;D

2008-03-22T19:35:00.006+08:00

Today was the first time I went to the Singapore Botanical Gardens, and I must say it is certainly a lovely and picturesque place. (: The best place of all had to be the National Orchid Garden. It was so beautiful~ <3

Will post photos of today's class excursion some other time as there are quite many (dozens, in fact) and yes, I confess I am feeling rather lazy today and I have no patience to do so right now.

Today, something unexpected happened that made me smile. Well, to be specific, my second favourite person in the whole world made me smile. And I was very much amused as well. Maybe there is something left after all, something to salvage among the debris that I've caused.

And I know I've been pessimistic lately, but I forget how easily I can get optimistic again as well. All it takes...is a loved one. (:

Oh, and Benjamin just informed me the countries allocated to BPGHS for this year's RMUN (Raffles Model United Nations Conference, in case you've forgotten). I would've liked to take part again this year, but...well, let's say it's just not advisable.

To the person who will represent BPGHS in Press Corps: You better win something as I and my predecessor had done during our RMUN days! XD Okay, I'm joking. Or not. =x

2008-03-21T15:47:00.003+08:00

I'd really like to blog as often as Geelyn does. Even though I know no one's really reading this, it does feel like some sort of a diary, the traditional book type which you write your daily events and just express yourself whenever you feel like it.

I fear that I'm losing something that I won't get back again. There's a saying: "You can't lose something you've never had"; but I'm sure I had this a long time ago. (okay, so maybe it wasn't THAT long...) I feel that it's my fault I'm losing it; but then again, it's also just drifting away from me. I'm losing it because it tires of me. Maybe I am just undeserving of it in the first place.

My efforts to recover it has yet to bear any fruit at all. Maybe it is pointless. But then again... I was once inspired and motivated by a friend to just keep on trying to get it back. I hope this motivation will last a bit longer...because I feel that I'm on the verge of giving up.

Yet... I'd hate myself if I do give up. I don't really want to lose it....but what can I do if it doesn't want me anymore? You can't force it, you can only hope to influence it.

If you don't understand what I'm saying, it's alright; it's not meant for you to understand anyway. I should handle my own losses, after all.

.........

.......

.....

...

I should really post happier things next time. u.u

2008-03-19T21:33:00.006+08:00

Am now in a blogging mood. Better pour everything out before my mood goes awry again.

~~~~~~

PART I: CINEMA

My sister and I watched the Japanese romantic teen movie Sky of Love at Causeway Point during the recent March hols (on Thurs, to be specific). While most of the time the movie either made me go "Aww..." or have this WTF? expression on my face, it's still a sweet movie with plenty of fluff and yeah, it did made me cry. (Thank god I went with my sis. Would've been mortifying for anyone else to see me cry. XD)

And, we also went to see The Spiderwick Chronicles a day after Sky of Love. IT WAS AWESOME. One of the best novel-to-film movie I've ever seen. :D The book was very nice, and the film did it justice as well, so I was satisfied. And... let's just say I've found my new favourite actor. ;DDD Heh.

Now I am SO psyched to go watch The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian that will come out later this year. 8D The trailer was so enthralling~

~~~~~~~

PART II: NAPFA

Just did the Five Items this week. Landed A for everything except Sit & Reach. Can I not help it that I am so un-flexible? D: That item just cost me such an ugly grade next to the rest of my As. (Geez, I do sound rather unmodest, don't I? ><) Well, I'll gladly leave flexibility to the Caroline Zhangs and Mirai Nagasus of the world. u.u

I jumped better this year though (for standing broad jump). :DDD I must say that credit goes to fencing. :D All those double-double jumps and lunges we were made to do did have some benefit outside my cca after all. ^^v

However, all those Cadbury I so sinfully indulged on this past March hols did have a negative after effect after all. ): It slowed me down quite a bit for this year's shuttle run. Still, my timing wasn't that unsatisfactory. Just 10.5 seconds. >.>

~~~~~~~

PART III: PROM

Yes, that's right. The event will take place on 18 November, five days after my last O Level paper, which also so happens to be on my sister's birthday. I do wish more people would attend it, though. What fun is a social function if such an unsatisfactory number of people show up? ):

I've made a pledge with a few of my friends (like Geelyn, for one) to attend our senior prom. I don't know why I want to go for it; heck, I couldn't even enjoy myself properly for RMUN's Dinner & Dance. Maybe because it is, after all, the last year I'll be with my dearest of friends in BPGHS. Might as well end the year with a bang (of course, not literally XD).

2008-03-11T14:04:00.006+08:00

THINGS TO DO (OR WILL TRY TO DO. LOL.) DURING MARCH HOLS:

Complete A Maths exercises. Only one left. :3
Do online A Maths online tests. Undone.
Do E Maths online tests. Undone.
~~Do HMT worksheet.~~ DONE! :D
~~Do Econs assignment.~~ DONE! :D
Revise Econs. Done a little.
Study/revise Bio for test. Done a little.
~~Do Bio worksheet on plant reproduction.~~ DONE! :D
~~Do Bio worksheets on human reproduction.~~ DONE! :D
Study for Chem test. Undone.
LESS SLACKING. (like that's ever gonna happen. XD)

- Updated on 19/3/08 -

~~~~~

And, here's a Happy 16th Birthday to Geelyn, one of my dearest friends ever. (:

2008-03-02T20:49:00.002+08:00

Urgh. I just don't feel like taking part in School Division (for fencing I mean). Why bother sending me for competition anyway? It's hopeless.

Been feeling awfully pessimistic lately.

And I've been blogging short posts too. Don't worry, I'd write longer next time. Maybe. Just maybe.

2008-02-24T11:25:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO WATCH GISELLE.

Really I do. D:

2008-02-22T14:00:00.003+08:00

My perfect attendance record since Sec 1 is tarnished. Bleh.

That's right, the ever-healthy Sarah was down with a 39 degree celsius fever on Monday night and thus, she got an MC for Tues & did not come to school. Still, there was some good that came out of this: I didn't get to take my A Math & Econs common tests. Hah! XD

Common tests, common tests... This week was filled with sleeping till 1am+ just to study. I SO can't wait to see how it'll be like when the dreaded Os are nearing.

So yeah, now's time for the evaluation of this week's ~~f***ing~~ Common Tests. Enjoy. Or not.

ENG: Write an essay. I picked the one-word topic "Temptation". Now I worry that my content may not be suitable & may be graded poorly because of that. I wouldn't really mind if the teacher who's marking decided to send me for counselling after reading that essay though.
A MATH: N/A. ^^v Mr Tai did ask me to try doing it, even thogh it wouldn't be graded. As usually, I would've flunked it anyway.
ECONS: N/A. After taking a look at the paper, I deduced that I would've failed it or borderline passed it. The former seems more likely.
SS: Screwed it up. D:
E MATH: Expected the worse, but it was actually do-able. (:
LIT: Not too difficult. I picked the question on the poem. Not too sure whether I'd get an A for it though...
HMT: WTF the peribahasa nearly killed me. x.x I could actually completely understand the passage given for summary! Woot.
BIO: Kinda easy, but I'm not betting on an A.

Last, but definitely not least,

CONGRATS S'PORE FOR WINNING THE RIGHT TO HOST THE YOG 2010! ;D

Was just feeling patriotic today. (:

2008-02-17T12:01:00.004+08:00

Psst! Here's a little secret... I'm picky when it comes to chocolates. Like, really ;D Heck, the only chocolates I love are Cadbury (with no nuts or fruit), KitKat, Milky Bar & Hershey's Cookies & Cream. If I was offered Merci, I'd only take the Milk Choclate one. I detest Fererro Rocher and M&Ms, and I confess that I've never tried Toblerone, nor do I intend to. I don't like dark chocolate, because I find it bitter, but white chocolate may be too sweet for my taste.

Why the sudden mention of chocolates? Because Vday was 3 days ago! :3 So, THANK YOU to all who took initiative to give me Vday treats. Expecially sweetie pie Janice, who prepared cupcakes for us. ^^

Which reminds me, I haven't exactly gave my Birthday thanks yet.

THANK YOU Benjamin, Geelyn, Amirah, Nabilah, Adel, Liyana (my cousin), Siti, Shairah & Hazrina for your SMSes. :DDD

THANK YOU Benjamin for being the first one to sms me on exactly 12am on 8 February. (:

THANK YOU Clare for being the first one to give me a Bday present. ^^

THANK YOU my sister for giving me a much-needed Bday angpao. XD

THANK YOU Haz for the sunglasses. Ema would approve. ;D And for the choc cake as well.

THANK YOU Melvyn for wishing me Happy Bday on Msn 3 hours before 8 Feb was over. ~~Better late than never. XDD~~

THANK YOU my juniors for erm, singing a Bday song for me on the day I gave you all sweets in accordance with my Bday. ^^;

Vday and my Birthday are why I love February so much~

2008-02-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

I wonder... why do they phrase it as Sweet Sixteen? Some form of ~~bizarre~~ alliteration perhaps? >D

Excuse my randomness. Heh.

YESSSS. I am no longer barred from NC-16 movies. Just two more years and M18 movies will be welcoming me as well. XD And yeah, just 5 meagre years till R21. (Gee, it sounds that I'm obsessed with rated movies, aren't I? ;D)

Anyway, my parents told me I was born on the 2nd day of CNY, and this year, it falls on the 2nd day of CNY again. I hope it's an auspicious sign for me since I'll be taking the dreaded Os this year :3 And yeah, the best thing about celebrating the day you turn a year older on CNY is... EXTRA ANGPAOS XDDD

This year, there was not one, but two birthday cakes, as relatives were present on CNY as well. Ice cream cakes from Swensons anyone? (:

Cookies & Cream flavoured.

Black forest flavoured.

So... yeah, it was a sweet sixteen. ((:

Would've been sweeter if I was in school, though.

2008-02-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

OMG THERE'S ANOTHER ICE SKATING RINK IN S'PORE AND I JUST FOUND OUT NOW O:

That's right people! :D Besides Fuji Ice Palace, we have Kallang Ice World located at... Kallang ;p Okay, specifically, it's on the 3rd floor of Leisure Park Kallang. Too bad though; it's not Olympic-size. ><

Anyway, by the end of today I was feeling rather... joyful. (: Maybe it's because I gave all my dear fencing juniors (and fellow Sec 4 fencers too) sweets in accordance with my 16th birthday this Friday and they were all smiles after that. It's nice to be liked by one's juniors. (: Sadly, the Sec Ones left rather early so I couldn't give them as well.

Speaking of Sec Ones, I AM OUTRAGED. There are TWO who already desire to quit, and it's not even a whole month yet. GAH >.> People, it's s SPORT. So of course it'll be tough at first. Does anyone ever think of that before joining? Honestly.

Back to a light anf fluffly topic now. SORRY 4L1 for not bringing in sweets for you guys too. Fencing comes first. Only joking, of course ;DD

Somehow, this week feels rather light-hearted... In the CNY spirit anyone?

D.Gray-Man EN 4: Antoinette Blue

2008-02-01T21:24:00.001+08:00

First post of February! (My fave month. For reasons too obvious ;D)

I'm feeling rather lazy right now, so I'll simply post up this video. One of my favourite songs ever, this is the 4th ending theme of the anime D.Gray-Man, entitled Antoinette Blue, sung by Nana Kitade.

Find the name of the song familiar? You must be really ~~unintelligent~~ unobservant if you don't. XDD

Screw Econs D:

2008-01-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

Economics CANNOT get any worse. D:

I'm so sorry, but I actually miss Ms Jesmine (YES, I DO) teaching us Econs. I actually understood what she was saying! Why, WHY does she have to leave for a course on our O Level year?! Okay, let me rephrase this. Why, WHY must she leave us a teacher whose teaching methods just doesn't suit us? D:

I swear, I will never comment on what Ms Jesmine wears to school again if she just comes back ASAP to teach us. u.u Okay, maybe I will comment, but no negative ones, alright? :3

At least Ms Rashidah isn't unbearable. Heck, she's a good way of poking fun at Haz. ;D

2008-01-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

B4. What a... less-than-motivating grade. But that's what I got for my O Level Malay. D:

I actually teared up when I saw what was printed on that horrid slip of paper Mr Sazali handed to me. Ask Haz; she was my witness. u.u Then again, I should be thankful that I wasn't the unlucky person who had a C5; now THAT would've been depressing.

Still, the unsatisfying B4 was eventually pushed away from my thoughts when I went to see how my dear juniors were doing for today's PT. They actually played Ice & Water after PT! XD It was rather adorable to see Sec 2s & 3s (and even Chun Yueh, Benjamin and Geelyn) chasing after each other... Quite nostalgic acutally. :3

The day got rather interesting when most of them went home, but some of us (including Geelyn) stayed behind to engage in a harmless game of Truth Or Dare. Childish? Not really. It was more of enlightening. Sharing ~~gossip~~ our so-called secrets was not nerve-wrecking at all. Even I was quite comfortable in informing my juniors my "Truth". (Though I was so surprised when I found out that some of my own juniors whom I have known since Sec 2 don't even know until today that I took Malay as a 2nd Language o.O)

Ahhhh...I haven't laughed this much during fencing for such a long time. :)

P.S. CONGRATS TO ALL WHO DID WELL FOR YOUR O LEVEL EXAMS! THIS MEANS YOU TOO, AMIRUL! XDDD